We all know Candace Owens or someone like her. She’s the Black woman who refuses to wear a bonnet despite the back of her hair being fluffier than a rabbit’s underbelly. She’s the Black woman at the cookout who stands near the food table talking about all of the items she hasn’t eaten since she stopped consuming gluten. She’s the Black woman in front of you who can’t stop customizing her Starbucks order. She’s the Black woman that will give her left pinky for the enamored glare of the white glaze. She’s the Black woman who joins the all-white cheerleading squad and talks shit about the all-Black step team.
She’s the Black woman that hates being a Black woman while allowing her Blackness to be tokenized by the right.
For months, Candace Owens has spent all of her energy following the Republican playbook that COVID-19 is nothing more than a chest cold and the masses are being duped. She’s been happy to announce that she is not vaccinated and loves to talk about how, despite her best efforts, she’s yet to come down with the coronavirus.
“I still have not received the COVID-19 vaccine and have not demanded that any of my employees get it either,” Owens wrote on Facebook in August, Newsweek reports. “I am proud that I committed myself to standing firm against the bribery, media propaganda, coercion, celebrity-peer pressure campaign, plus censorship. I made a personal decision for me and my family.”
She added: “It isn’t easy to swim against such a polluted current but here I am. I trust my gut much more than trust Dr. Fauci. May we all do what we feel in our hearts is right, unabashedly.”
Recently, Owens was scheduled to make an appearance at the Texas Youth Summit, which is basically where a bunch of Alex P. Keatons meet to hear from people who also once had their food trays smacked out of their hands in high school, but she canceled, claiming a “sudden illness,” and COVID rumors began spreading. Everyone–and by everyone, I mean the eight people who know who the hell Candace Owens is–began wondering if the illness was, in fact, the coronavirus.
Owens took to Twitter to boast that much like a rodent that has avoided glue traps, she was in fact COVID-19 free.
Now, Owens is claiming that a lab in Colorado refused to test her for COVID-19 because
she’s an asshole of her political views.
Last month, the right-wing conservative firebrand dubbed the vaccine as “purely evil,” tweeting that it “will never enter my arm.” She had earlier said that she was proud” to not be vaccinated against COVID-19.
However, in an Instagram Live on Wednesday, she said as an unvaccinated person, she was still prepared to be tested for COVID if an event she attended required it, although she opposed showing documentation to enter businesses.
During her video, she said that she was in Aspen, Colorado and had had “50 plus COVID tests” since the start of the pandemic and that her travel schedule meant that she had to be tested at least once every two weeks.
Owens claims that her assistant (who is probably an unpaid family member) that an Aspen laboratory emailed Owens claiming that they wouldn’t be testing her “because of who you are.”
I believe Owens here because if I owned a hot dog stand and Candace Owens came to my stand wearing a “I’m Candace Owens” T-shirt (seriously, how would anyone know who the hell she is if she’s not wearing it on her chest?) and wanted to buy a footlong, I would tell her to fuck off.
Owens claimed that she booked a test at Aspen COVID Testing under her married name Candace Farmer. People barely know who the fuck Candace Owens is and now they know her married name? Methinks not.
Also From Newsweek:
Owens then read out an email written by Suzanna Lee, the lab’s co-owner, which said her test would be refused because “we cannot support anyone who has pro-actively worked to make this pandemic worse by spreading misinformation.”
The letter, which Owens posted on Twitter, went on to accuse her of “politicizing and actively dissuading people from receiving life-saving vaccinations,” before recommending she use the town’s only other testing facility, a free kiosk by city hall.
As of Thursday morning, her Instagram Live had been viewed more than 670,000 times and her tweets about the letter were widely shared.
Owens, of course, took to Twitter to cry about the supposed ban, claiming that it was “insane” that she had been “banned from making sure I don’t accidentally spread COVID,” Newsweek reports.
Many on Twitter noted that this was merely capitalism and that a business refused her business, which is a basic principle of the GOP.
Another user wrote: “I thought you were all for personal responsibility, Candace? A private company held you personally responsible for your actions.”
Something tells me that much like her anti-vax stance, everything Candace Owens does is to promote Candace Owens.
Oh, and Owens also claimed that the woman who denied her testing may have done it because she’s racist. Man, you can’t make this shit up.