Candace Owens Snubbed by RNC Because She Has a Crush on Obama or Something Like That

Illustration for article titled Candace Owens Snubbed by RNC Because She Has a Crush on Obama or Something Like That
Photo: Scott Olson (Getty Images)

Many of you have heard by now that the shuck and jive trap-queen, the patron saint of evangelical edgelessness, Tomi Lahren the tragic negro remix, the new iPhone version of Stacey Dash, conservative’s favorite Black friend, Candace Owens was not invited to speak at the Republican National Convention.

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The Root was going to reach out to Owens for an interview, but the Sunken Place—where she’s been quarantined since long before anyone heard the name COVID—doesn’t get good Zoom reception.

To put things into perspective, the RNC did invite a Black conservative woman who mindlessly regurgitates Republican talking points with no apparent original thoughts of her own—it just wasn’t Candace. Instead, the RNC invited the Galaxy S-is-for-Sambo 21 Ultra version of Owens, Kim Klacik, to speak at the convention.

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Klacik—who is running for election to the U.S. House to represent Maryland’s 7th Congressional District—won the hearts of Trump and his white supremacist cult when she released a video campaign ad that shows her walking through a run-down part of “the real Baltimore” where clearly no one lives to prove that Democrat-run cities are trash.

I imagine that had to be quite the gut-punch to Owens. Imagine tap-dancing like Daffy Duck on Looney-Coo...I mean Tunes for years and getting snubbed for an RNC spot, while some other random house negro fresh from the field does one bootleg Hamsterdam video and gets a spot on the big Republican stage.

Of course, Black Twitter had a whole field day with this one.

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Owens hasn’t said much publicly about not being invited to play Clayton Bigsby’s equally blind wife at the glorified MAGA-Klan rally. All we know is that she believes she would have killed President Barack Obama in their Instagram Verzuz battle if she had gotten a chance to speak.

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In a now-unavailable tweet, Owens responded to comedian Tom Dillon’s tweet questioning why she wasn’t included on the RNC guest list by declaring that she “would have crushed Obama’s DNC appearance.”

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I’m not sure why Ben Carson’s armrest thinks she could have matched the superb job Obama did when he spoke at the Democratic National Convention. She ain’t even nice like that. All she does is say the same shit every Republican conservative says about everything. She would have repeated the basic-est of basic political talking points just like Trump has been doing the whole time he’s been in office. (Of course, Trump has his talking points scribbled on the back of his hand because he can’t read the teleprompter where words are spelled correctly. Owens tried to do the same on her hand because she keeps forgetting that she’s Black.)

Maybe that’s why the GOP told her ass to Blexit stage left.


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Zack Linly is a poet, performer, freelance writer, blogger and grown man lover of cartoons

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DISCUSSION

wafflesaadiq
Waffle Saadiq

Was she snubbed or replaced with a more MAGA model?