I believe in father-son affection. I have a son. Heâs 3 months old, and I am dreading the day that he finds my kissing his cheek uncool. I also believe that because America doesnât love black boys, itâs my job as his dad to make sure that he knows at all times that he is loved. So I kiss on his little face and hands because he is my boy. I donât kiss him on the mouth.
I still kiss my dad on his cheek. He also kisses me on mine. Heâs getting old now, so who knows how long heâll be here. We say âI love youâ now. Itâs new for us. But no matter what weâve gone through, we have always hugged and kissed each other on the cheek.
The cheek.
I donât, however, kiss my dad on the mouth. I also donât kiss my dad on the mouth for a long time, like a hard three-count kiss time.
New England Patriots star quarterback Tom Brady, he of the sculpted chin divot and model wife, is starring alongside his family in a Facebook docuseries, and the latest episode shows Brady getting a rubdown when his son walks into the room and gives him a kiss on the lips.
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Brady jokes that the kiss was like a peck, and then his son returns to really plant one on him .... on his lips! Son.
Look, I donât care if a son kisses his dad on the lips, but I do care if said son stays there for a count longer than three seconds, because itâs weird. Also, I donât make the weird rules, I just adhere to them. Itâs weird, like the-video-of-the-rat-bathing-himself-like-a-fucking-human weird. And it isnât white-people weirdâwell, kind of, but I know black people who donât mind this kind of familial affection.
Hell, Babyâs fake son, Lil Wayne, used to kiss his fake father on the lips, and people didnât find that weird. Psych, who am I kidding? Everyone found that weird, and if they didnât, I donât know why they didnât. Look, watch it happen below, and tell me if Iâm tripping in the comments. I know that Iâm not, but tell me if I am. I canât be tripping. This is weird, right?!
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