Can Someone Get The Door? The Stimmys Are Here!

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) speaks during a news conference with House Democrats before the upcoming vote on the American Rescue Plan, on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C. on March 9, 2021.
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) speaks during a news conference with House Democrats before the upcoming vote on the American Rescue Plan, on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C. on March 9, 2021.
Photo: ANDREW CABALLERO-REYNOLDS (Getty Images)

In what can only be called the most glorious day since Simba flipped Scar off that fiery mountain only to leave him to the wild hyenas, the House on Wednesday passed the $1.9 trillion COVID-19 relief package, which will include money to reopen schools, ramp up vaccine distribution and, most importantly, Target trips.

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By a vote of 220 to 211, Democrats effectively punched Republicans in the face with President Biden’s first major piece of legislation since taking office. All that is needed now is Biden’s signature which should come—wait, let me make sure I’m reading this correctly—Friday, NBC News reports.

Friday?

As in the name of the movie starring Ice Cube?

Ummm, today is Wednesday. Why does it take him two days to sign something? He’s the president of the goddamn United States. Surely a messenger can deliver it to his desk. Doesn’t he have access and an account to one of those e-signature sites? I mean it’s not like this bill holds some of the most important and urgently needed aid in the history of this country, but let me guess: Biden’s going to hold it till Friday so he can take a victory lap as he signs his first legislative victory since taking office.

Don’t believe that President Biden isn’t waiting a few days to milk the fuck out of this accomplishment?

There’s a whole-ass entire article from the Washington Post about how the Obama administration blew the PR portion of saving the economy in 2009, and the Biden administration doesn’t want to repeat this again.

Democratic leaders hold a deep conviction that they blew it in 2009, when Barack Obama took office amid another economic meltdown and enacted a sweeping stimulus plan. Instead of getting credit for rescuing the economy, they say, Democrats let Republicans blast them for big-government overreach, and they lost badly in the 2010 midterms.

The bill passed the Senate along party lines on Saturday, but it came with a few changes that needed to be approved by the House, including the lowering of unemployment benefits and stabbing some 17 million people in the wallet by excluding them from receiving a stimulus check.

“This is a critical moment in our country’s history,” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., said before the vote, adding that more than 500,000 people have died from the coronavirus. “Today, we have a real opportunity for change.”

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The bill, much like all good things in life, passed with no Republican votes or support.

“I am immensely proud that we will soon send this bill to President Biden’s desk to be signed into law,” said House Budget Chair John Yarmuth (D-Ky.). “We have acted with the urgency that this pandemic demands.”

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From NBC News:

The legislation will grant $1,400 direct payments to individuals making under $75,000 and $2,800 to married couples who make less than $150,000. Individuals making up to $80,000 and joint filers up to $160,000 will get some money but not the full amount. The direct cash includes up to $1,400 per dependent, including adult dependents.

The bill provides $300-a-week in enhanced jobless benefits through Sept. 6. And it would expand the annual child tax credit to $3,600 for children up to age 5 and $3,000 for children aged 6 to 17.

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So now, as with most things in Black life, like going to the movies and possibly McDonald’s, we have to wait until Friday because the president has to stunt on these fuck ass Republicans while the rest of us sit here.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

DISCUSSION

everytimeidie
Petey Wheatstraw The Devil Son in law

Sheesh I never got my second one, I’m not sure how this one will play out!