Remember back a million years ago when America was under the rule of the most racist president and his sexless robot former Vice President Mike Pence? Well, it looks like someoneโs done some tinkering with his mainframe because the once homeless, couch-surfing VP might be looking to make a run at the White House in 2024.
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And you know who doesnโt think heโd be a good fit? Yep, the white dragon with the lace-front wig, Donald Trump, who failed to name Pence when asked who he considered future leaders in the Republican Party and instead noted Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis and Sens. Josh Hawley and Ted Cruz, basically the three wheels on the tricycle of evil.
According to the Associated Press, Pagan Pence has been โsteadily reentering public life as he eyes a potential run for the White House in 2024. Heโs joining conservative organizations, writing op-eds, delivering speeches and launching an advocacy group that will focus on promoting the Trump administrationโs accomplishments.โ
So Playboii Pence is throwing his Kangol in the ring for a possible run at the White House. And you know Trump is still fuming with adult Small Wonder for upholding his Constitutional duties and not insurrectioning the transfer of power to the Biden administration.
Pence is going to have to do some serious orange ass kissing if heโs going to pull this off. In fact, he can only pull this off with Trumpโs blessing, assuming of course that Trumpโs not going to run because the Republican Party is Trumpโs party. He owns them.
But some believe that if anyone can do it, itโs Pence-bot.
โAnybody who can pull off an endorsement of Ted Cruz and become Donald Trumpโs vice presidential nominee should not be counted out,โ Republican strategist Alice Stewart told AP. โHe has a way of splitting hairs and threading the needle that has paid off in the past.โ
But Penceโs aides (which, how does he still have aides?) swear that heโs not even thinking about running for president, as heโs busy thinking about next yearโs midterm elections.
โI think 2024โs a long time away and if Mike Pence runs for president he will appeal to the Republican base in a way that will make him a strong contender,โ said Republican Rep. Jim Banks of Indiana. โIf and when Mike Pence steps back up to the plate, I think he will have strong appeal among Republicans nationwide.โ
Itโs all bullshit, but Iโd rather Pence run in 2024 so that he can lose peacefully, instead of the leader of the toothless, who will strike up the band to storm the Capitol only to hide his hands when theyโre done.
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