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What Da Fuq Is a 409K? Trump Seems to Know
In an attempt to brag on himself once again, President Trump may have hipped us to an exclusive financial plan only allowed to the top one percent. On Thursday, the president tweeted out that the stock market is on the rise and to prove it, he wanted everyone to check their 409Ks! “STOCK MARKET AT…
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It’s Starting to Look a Lot Like Iran Shot Down That Ukrainian Plane
On Wednesday, it was announced that a Ukrainian passenger jet near Tehran crashed, killing all 176 aboard. Now it is with “high confidence” that U.S. officials believe that the aircraft was shot down by an Iranian missile. According to an official who spoke anonymously with the Washington Post, U.S. authorities believe that an Iranian anti-aircraft…
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Meet Mayor Pete’s New Black Friend
After The Root’s Michael Harriot ripped Democratic presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg’s troubling tenure with black officers during his time as mayor of South Bend, Ind., (seriously, if you have not read this story, stop what you are doing and read it now. I see you; put the baby down and read this story. I’m not…
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‘They Are in Love With Terrorists’: GOP Lawmaker Falsely Claims Democrats Are Mourning the Death of Iran’s Top Military General
Unlike the New York subway system, the Republican propaganda train is never late. Last Thursday, after Trump ate a mayonnaise-laced baby goat heart and bombed an Iranian brigade killing Iran’s top military official, Qassem Soleimani, many Democrats came out against the aggressive act as a move that could lead to an all-out war. In the…
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The President of the United States Just Publicly Went Out Like a Bitch. And That’s Fine by Us
Starting almost 30 minutes late for his press conference, President Trump—surrounded by a bevy of white men (literally everyone behind him made up the evolution of white men)—appeared to use the strategy officially called “bubble guts,” softening his tone against Iran, which was vastly different than the Twitter tone he had a few days ago.…
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Trump Spent Crazy Money on an Ad to Run During Jay-Z’s Super Bowl
If the whiteballing of former quarterback Colin Kaepernick isn’t enough to boycott the NFL, how about Beyoncé’s husband crossing the picket lines to bring us a halftime show starring Jennifer Lopez and Shakira? The NFL is so racist and ridiculous that ESPN talking forehead Stephen A. Smith actually came back to his roots, arguing that…
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If a Loser Racist Goes on Fox News and Calls You a Loser Racist, Does It Make a Sound?
Trump’s favorite ingrown toenail, Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham, took shots at former quarterback Colin Kaepernick, who’s currently being whiteballed by the NFL, and Democratic Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, because that’s what Lindsey Graham does. Over the weekend, Kaepernick tweeted that Trump’s attack on one of Iran’s top military officers, Qassem Soleimani, was nothing new since America…
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Mitch McConnell Is Prepared to Push Impeachment Trial Rules Forward Without Democrats
In what continues to be an impeachment trial tug of war over whether witnesses would be allowed to testify, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell might’ve drummed up enough support to pass his version of rules that would halt Democrats’ push to call for new evidence and witnesses until after the trial begins. According to Politico, no…
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Twitter Beef Accelerates as Iranian Official Hints at Targeting Trump Properties
Alright, so boom. The president of the United States decided—on a random-ass Thursday—that he was going to kill a top Iranian military commander who’d been ignored by two former presidents because beefing with Iran is akin to beefing with a young Mike Tyson before he met Robin Givens. Then, because the president is a perpetual…
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Former National Security Adviser John Bolton to Go Full Tekashi 6ix9ine, Says He’s Ready to Testify
In what can only be described as the biggest switch since The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air replaced dark-skinned Aunt Viv with light-skinned Aunt Viv and acted like nothing happened, former national security adviser John Bolton now claims that he’s ready to testify in Trump’s Senate impeachment trial. On Monday, out of the clear blue sky,…
