-
How the Many Faces of Maxine Waters’ Shade Stole the House Dems Impeachment Announcement
We don’t deserve Auntie Maxine. The California Democrat is serving her 15th term in the House and she’s not done. At 81, she’s still the most vocal and has proven herself to be the biggest thorn in President Trump’s side because, make no mistake about it, Maxine Waters was the first person to speak out…
-
Trump Bashes FBI Director After Conspiracy Theory Turned Out to Be Bullshit
Because President Trump gets the majority of his news from the White Supremacy Post and InfoWars, he believed that the “deep state” was actively working to undermine his 2016 campaign, which allegedly included spying on Trump advisers. Trump believed that top FBI officials were working to bring him down because, prior to becoming president of…
-
Trump's Jenga Tower Set to Fall as Dems Unveil 2 Articles of Impeachment
And so it begins. The slippery slope leading the president into a fiery pit of embarrassment starts today after House Democrats unveiled two articles of impeachment against President Trump. According to the Washington Post, the articles of impeachment alleged that Trump “abused the power of his office and obstructed Congress in its investigation of his…
-
Trump Big Mad at Girlfriend Fox News for Cheating on Him
The public fuss-fight between President Trump and his personal YouTube channel Fox News took another turn Sunday when the leader of the free world tweeted that he knows that they’re cheating on him and he’s tired of it. “Don’t get why @FoxNews puts losers on like @RepSwalwell (who got ZERO as presidential candidate before quitting),…
-
Trump Tweeted Over 100 Times Sunday Because He Didn’t Have Cheerleading Practice
With the holidays on the horizon and school winding down to a snail’s pace, the president of the United States sits alone in his sleeping coffin wearing cozy PJs and messaging with Rep. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) about which GOP boys think he’s cute. Unfortunately, this Sunday it was Graham’s turn to work the president’s slaughterhouse,…
-
Fake Christmas Trees Are the Bhad Bhabie of Christmas Trees
I was at my grandmother’s house when I first saw the TurboGrafx-16 of Christmas trees. My mother had explained that my grandparents were older and they didn’t have the time nor the energy to fuss over a real tree. I was probably around eight and I was excited to see a fake tree since the…
-
We Know What Trump Uses to Make His Face That Color. Hint: It’s Not Pig Vomit
If you ever wanted to look like the president—or a weathered, sun-soaked, wrinkled Trader Joe’s orange—and run through the neighborhood scaring the shit out of children and people of color, then now is your chance, as the president’s favorite concealer has been revealed to be Russian prostitute urine!. Thanks to hardworking journalists at the Washington…
-
Smokin’ Joe Biden Challenged a Man to a Pushup Contest Because He’s Strong AF!
I don’t know what is wrong with former Vice President Joe Biden, but I swear he’s becoming the living, breathing version of those Obama BFF memes. Remember those memes, in which a Crazy Joe spouts out silly shit and Obama has to tell him to calm his old ass down? Anyway, on Thursday, during a…
-
5 Reasons the Impeachment Hearings Were Must-See TV
I will admit that my job requires me to watch all of the congressional hearings and all of the pundits rattling off reasons why the world and the economy aren’t going to collapse. I’m literally paid to watch members of Congress fumble over themselves to support one of the most corrupt presidencies America has ever…
