An Exclusive Interview With Michael Cohen’s Cellphone Who Apparently Went to Prague Without Him

Illustration for article titled An Exclusive Interview With Michael Cohen’s Cellphone Who Apparently Went to Prague Without Him
Photo: Yana Paskova (Getty Images)

Michael Cohen’s cellphone was tired of the lies, the games and the stories of how they’d travel once he got a better job, saved some more money or worked less hours. So she took matters into her own hands and decided on her own that she was going to Prague.


“Fuck, him!” Gloria, Cohen’s cellphone for the last four years, who declined to give her last name, told The Root in an exclusive interview. “He’s only talking about it now because he knows how to push my buttons.”

According to Gloria, the two had an unlimited relationship but she still considered it special.

“I mean he had burners or whatever,” she said adjusting her long Gucci scarf around her head. “He’s a lawyer ... That kind of thing comes with the territory,” she said.

Gloria noted that Cohen is a known liar and that while the two haven’t been in contact, he isn’t lying about not being in Prague.

“I have told everyone who contacts me to look at my stories on the Gram,” she said. “He wasn’t there. I got the vacation of my dreams without him ... this was before I gave him the click.”

“He said he was a fixer but he wouldn’t fix my broken screen,” Gloria told The Root. “I told him too many times: ‘I can do bad reception all by myself!’ If he doesn’t want to do right, he can trade me in or give me to his niece or something.”


Gloria notes that the breakup was recorded and shared footage with The Root which can be seen below.

This would explain reports that Cohen’s cellphone “briefly sent signals ricocheting off cell towers in the Prague area in late summer 2016 ... leaving an electronic record to support claims that Cohen met secretly there with Russian officials,” CNBC reports.


Cohen also added to the mix, noting on Twitter: “I hear #Prague #CzechRepublic is beautiful in the summertime. I wouldn’t know as I have never been. #Mueller knows everything!


I hate him,” Gloria said. “But he wasn’t with me. I was there by myself, living my best life.”

“Tell me the truth. Who’s he with now? An iPhone XS? He always liked them big. I bet he’s with an Android. I saw the way he looked at those Samsung hoes. Please tell me it’s not an Android!”


Gloria pauses and looks out the window. Her chin begins to shake when she thinks about the good minutes they spent together, downloading images and ...

She loses service.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


Monique Judge

I am fucking YELLING.