There is perhaps nothing more devastating than the death of a child, and each surviving parent must cope with the loss in their own way. In the aftermath of 5-month-old Zen Cannon’s death on Sunday, December 5, each of his parents shared how they are processing the loss of their son. On Wednesday, model and grieving mother Alyssa Scott posted a loving tribute to Zen featuring a video montage of the infant’s brief life, captioned:
Oh my sweet Zen. The soreness I felt in my arm from holding you is slowly fading away. It’s a painful reminder that you are no longer here. I caught myself looking in the backseat as I was driving only to see the mirror no longer reflecting your perfect face back at me. When I close a door too loudly I hold my breath and wince knowing a soft cry will shortly follow. It doesn’t come. The silence is deafening.
These last 5 months we have been in this race together. We would hand the baton off to each other. You kept me going. It would be the middle of the night and you would smile at me. A surge of energy would fill my body and pure joy would radiate from within me. We were a team, both determined to see it through. It feels unbearable running without you now. I can’t. And in this moment I feel myself being carried. By your sister.. By God. By complete strangers encouraging me to not give up . It has been an honor and privilege being your mommy.. I will love you for eternity. 6•23•21 - 12•5•21
On his eponymous talk show on Tuesday, Cannon praised Scott, telling his audience (h/t People magazine):“Zen’s mom, Alyssa, was just the strongest woman I’ve ever seen. Never had an argument, never was angry. Was emotional when she needed to be, but always the best mom, and continues to be the best mom [to her three-year-old daughter].”
As People reports, on Wednesday’s show, Cannon again lauded Scott’s “strength” and apologized for “so many things...if there’s any weight or anything that I caused...I’m not going to get everything right; this process is difficult for the both of us, but I just thank you for being that strength, for being that rock.”
Sending love to Scott and her extended family, Cannon shared that love with “each and every mother that has ever had to lose a child or has had to deal with a child with special needs...mothers are superheroes.” He then asked his fans to pray for Scott, who he said “is doing well, but continue to pray for her; continue to pray for our entire family.”
In the same episode, Cannon defended his own immediate return to work, admitting he’d been urged to take a beat following the tragedy.
“A lot of people keep asking me like, ‘Man why are you even at work?’ Especially my family members, ‘Boy you need to go sit down somewhere, you got too many jobs already. Allow yourself to just be yourself,’” he said.
“And I appreciate that, all of that advice and I know it comes from a place of care. But to me, this isn’t work, this is love.”
“Yesterday, it was a little easier than today because yesterday I was so laser-focused and even numb,” he continued. “I just knew I just had to get it done. Today, I’m a little torn. I’m a little confused. Because it’s a hurting thing. I’m grieving. I feel guilty on so many levels.”
Our thoughts are with Scott, Cannon and their families.