If reports of NeNe Leakes and Kim Zolciak’s return to The Real Housewives of Atlanta are true, praise everyone on high because this season has been long, draining and worrisome. Some of the cast members are guiltier than others for that, and in the spirit of their nastiness, here is a ranking of everyone who’s irritated me from least to “Girl, you’re the absolute worst.”
Cynthia is the least bothersome cast member of RHOA. When she first joined the show, she was attached to NeNe Leakes like a ring to a nipple, which was a bit frustrating to watch when she would introduce things like the very ridiculous friendship contract. A long time has passed since then, though, and honestly, the most annoying thing about the former model has been her ex-husband, Peter Thomas. Peter liked being on this show way too much, until he didn’t. You noticed this at the end of the third edition of the reunion when Peter snatched off his mic and stormed away from the set.
Hopefully, now that the two are no longer a pair, he can keep away. If he finds another reality-TV show to be on—a highly plausible scenario—good for him. I won’t be watching it, but if Uncle Ben-face wants to trash-talk and throw brown rice on another forum, so be it. Just keep him away from RHOA, Cynthia and Todd Tucker, who is his heir apparent in the “This Negro really wants a fucking peach” aspect of this show.
For her next season, I hope Cynthia goes on some dates and meets less-cantankerous men. Don’t loan this new man any money, either, Ms. Bailey. The Lord obviously doesn’t find that to be the best option for you.
When Shereé got her peach back, I was so happy because if nothing else, Lady Whitfield is great for a good confessional drag and one-liner; see: “Hell to the nah to the nah-nah-nah.” That said, though she has been a longtime favorite of mine, she was a bit of a letdown this season. As the self-appointed bone collector, Shereé spent most of her time this season telling everyone else’s business. Much of that has to do with the fact that she doesn’t seem to have as much going on.
What frustrates me about Shereé is that she let other cast members do the hustles she should’ve been jumped on. Like, how is Shereé in possession of that body and not out here training celebrities and releasing top-selling fitness videos? Instead, all we got was another damn season of her talking about Chateau Shereé. I don’t know if Chateau Shereé is in her name or her mama’s name; nor do I know if the property is done being saddled with liens. Honestly, I’d rather Chateau Shereé settle all of that shit, once and for all, so that she can move on from the storyline and spare us in the process. And with that peace of mind, maybe she’ll find something more to talk about that’s actually about her.
I’m rooting for you, Shereé, and your fine-ass son. Bring him back anytime you want. Not just because he’s fine, but because he at least has a damn storyline based on himself. Learn from your offspring.
As happy as I am that Xscape is finally back together, The Real Housewives of Atlanta has long suggested to me that Mrs. Burruss-Tucker bears a whole lot of responsibility for why it took so long for a proper reunion. Kandi is cool, but Kandi is also petty, and unlike a lot of you motherfuckers across social media, I don’t like petty.
Here is what bugs me about Kandi: She lets everyone around her drag the fuck out of her fellow cast members, then feigns aloofness about why people feel she may have issues with them that she won’t explicitly state herself unless it’s already a fight happening.
I don’t want to hear her employees take digs at other people. I don’t want to see her mama dressed like Inspector Gadget in a scene as she minds someone else’s business. None of those people have peaches; thus, why are we constantly subjected to them? Their thoughts and feelings about Kandi’s business shouldn’t matter so much, but they do because they tend to speak for Kandi.
Kandi should ask Tiny to join the show so that, at the very least, she can have a friend to hang out with. Like, how many more scenes must we see of Kandi’s employees talking noise about her co-workers during their breaks?
Now, Kandi has been treated terribly this season, but that doesn’t negate the fact that Todd talks too much. So does her mama. So does Don Juan, no Bishop. So does that other one whose name I can’t recall but I won’t Google because she ain’t on this damn show and I shouldn’t see her so damn much. Enough.
Bless Porsha’s heart, but all too often, she speaks as if the inside of her brain consists of a bunch of sedimentary rocks. I didn’t like her when she first joined the show because she was judgmental toward the other women while being married to that terrible man. After life humbled her and she put on a freakum dress, she tried to stop acting like she wasn’t in a Trillville video years ago.
Now, I think she and Cynthia both overreacted during their fight, but I will say that Kenya Moore always tries people. Porsha shouldn’t have tried to snatch her bald, but well, don’t put shit in people’s faces while insulting them. In any event, she calmed down the violence, but she turned up the lies all season long, and she needs to go.
You do not make up lies about sex dungeons. You most certainly don’t accuse someone of trying to sexually assault you based on what you heard from someone with nefarious intentions. Porsha didn’t seem to figure that out until the reunion finale, but that doesn’t absolve of her of being a constant fuck-up who talks a lot of shit, spews a bunch of lies and adds nothing to the show anymore.
I’m glad she has scored work outside of the show in radio and TV (honestly, truly). Similarly, she keeps a bomb weave, so I’m glad she linked with a company to make a coin. Still, she can go and never return. Who knows if the show keeps her, but if it does, she needs to work on the lying and join a book club. Be blessed, though, sis.
Kenya Moore gets on my fucking nerves. The only reason she is not the most despised here is that fake-ass Morticia Addams has a newfound romance with libel. Back to Kenya’s annoying ass, though.
Some people live for her, and I question their sanity every single time. Kenya is someone who used to be an actress and took those Redbox theater talents to reality television. Initially I thought she was doing performance art. Like some kind of Negro League Valerie Cherish. No, no, no. This woman is just ridiculous, thirsty and willing to do and say whatever to keep a check.
The rent is high, but not higher than her desperation levels. That fake-ass relationship with Walter was stupid. That dumb-ass song she did was even worse. The fact that she moved next to Shereé in order to build Moore Manor is as incredibly silly as it is pathetic.
Actually, that’s what bugs me about her. She literally repeats other people’s past storylines. Get off Kim Zolciak’s storyline and find your own. The same goes for Shereé. And quit finding boyfriends off Craigslist and the comments section of the Shade Room.
She can also stand to stop flirting with other people’s husbands on national television for no other reason than airtime. As far as throwing that divorce party goes, that was Kenya once again exploiting someone else’s personal life for more camera time—camera time she can’t seem to earn with anything happening in her own life lately.
Most of all, quit saying the most vile, inconsiderate, rude-as-all-hell things to people and then play victim when folks want to pop off. I wish she had been cast as Fancy on The Jamie Foxx Show. Perhaps that would have made her far less thirsty and pressed on this show. Kenya loves playing the villain, so this vitriol is deserving. I cannot wait until she is replaced, or, at the very least, she has a gallon of chill. I am sorry about Matt, but girl, you’re still annoying and you can fly away to Neverland with Porsha. Ugh.
I used to like Shady Phae-Phae, until she took her bullshit way too far. Here is the thing about Phaedra: She is the kid of two preachers and clearly buys into the notion that she has to present herself one way despite being another.
However, if you’re going to bare your ass cheeks multiple times on the show, marry a scammer and accept cash as payment on national television for your legal services, who in the hell do you think you’re fooling? And knowing Porsha isn’t the brightest bulb in the room is exactly why she filled her head with talk that Kandi and Todd tried to drug her and take her to their sex dungeon.
What kind of garbage human being does something like that? Phaedra has long behaved like someone itching to get into politics. Hell, she’s tried again and again to incorporate more serious matters into the show to sell that point. Maybe she has truly done good for a lot of people, but that doesn’t give you the right to lie about someone being a rapist.
If Phaedra had any chance of being a fake-ass Sheila Jackson Lee, it’s damn sure over now thanks to what’s transpired this season. What’s really grating about all of this is that she refuses to acknowledge what she’s done much less apologize.
You’re fake. You’re full of it. NeNe Leakes was right about you. Your kids are fun to watch, but I don’t want to see you anymore. I’d take another season of Kenya Moore over Phaedra Parks. That’s how bad she messed up. It seems that she has indeed been booted from the show. Bye.