We Should All Approach Life Like This Jimmy John’s Cashier

YouTube screenshot
YouTube screenshot

We all know that in life, catastrophe can and will happen. Things that run will stop working; people you love won’t live forever, and all the Kardashians will. But if only there were an average person to show us the way. Just a regular Joe walking among us and living in, say, Kansas City, Mo.

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I’ve found him. On Wednesday, around 9:15 p.m., a man walked into a Kansas City Jimmy John’s and ordered a sandwich. Instead of reaching for his wallet, the man grabbed his handgun and pointed it at the cashier, the Kansas City Star reports.

Thanks to police surveillance video released Thursday, we are all able to see the cashier, who has a Chuck Norris-like ability to be unfazed by the gun in his face, calmly remove his work glove so as not to get food on the robber’s money. The cashier, who is cooler than a polar bear’s toenails, begins emptying the cash from the register.

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The robber can be seen cocking his gun and waving it at the man behind the cash register, who looks as if this guy isn’t holding a fucking gun in his face. The robber, realizing that the gun isn’t having the effect that a gun should have, then waves the cocked gun in the cashier’s face. The cashier doesn’t even take a step back because he knows something we don’t, and we need him to share it with us.

Maybe the cashier is secretly a superhero. Maybe the cashier is really a Zen kung fu master who has disarmed criminals like this so much that it’s just second nature. Maybe disarming thugs is his first job and making sandwiches is his cover.

Whatever the deal, the cashier, cool as the other side of the pillow, doesn’t flinch. He hands the man the money and the robber jets.

And while the video doesn’t continue, I believe that the cashier grabbed another pair of gloves and went back to taking the next order, all while letting customers know that the store would be doing card transactions only.

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KMBC reports that the robber was arrested.

Watch the ninja-esque, meditative, Zen-like cashier in action below.

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Read more at the Kansas City Star and KMBC.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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DISCUSSION

The robber realizing that the gun isn’t having the effect that a gun should then waves the cocked gun in the cashier’s face. The cashier doesn’t even take a step back because he knows something we don’t and we need him to share it with us.

Unreal how cool this guy is.

But it’s possible that the thing he knows is that the gun mis-fed and absolutely would not fire if the robber had squeezed the trigger.

It’s a bit difficult to see, but the yellow arrow is pointing at the chamber, which isn’t visible when the gun is ready to fire. You can kind of make out how the slide is being held open by the mis-fed round. This condition is called “out of battery” and it means that the round isn’t properly seated in the chamber. It generally means the gun won’t fire. This is a quite an extreme case.

The red arrow points out what the cashier might have noticed, which is maybe 3/4 of an inch of the barrel exposed. This is covered by the slide when the gun is ready to fire.

For comparison, here’s what the muzzle looks like when the slide is fully forward.