Vladimir TrumPutin to Run for President in 2020; Hopefully He’ll Be Impeached Before This Happens

Illustration for article titled Vladimir TrumPutin to Run for President in 2020; Hopefully He’ll Be Impeached Before This Happens
Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

Talking about jumping the gun: The president of KhakiPants, Kan., is reportedly running for president in 2020, but he may want to focus on staying in office in 2018.

As it stands, the Kremlin walls of collusion with Russia are closing in, and who does the president tap to run his 2020 campaign? Brad Parscale. And who the hell is Brad Parscale? Oh, only Donald Trump’s former marketing strategist who reportedly has ties to Cambridge Analytica, which, Vox reports, is a “data firm that has become a focus of the Trump-Russia investigation.”

I would say that the announcement that Trump is, in fact, running for president—assuming he lasts the 980-odd days it will take to get there—was a bit presumptuous, but let’s face it: Since being gifted the 2016 election by Russian bots, Trump has been campaigning ever since.


Since winning the presidential election, Trump has gone on some 19 rallies across some of the most racist states in America. His first rally was on Dec. 1, 2016, in Cincinnati, and his last rally was Dec. 8, 2017, in Pensacola, Fla. In fact, holding rallies, eating KFC and slathering donkey blood across his face are the only things this president has done consistently since taking office.

So, yes, the president is officially running for office in 2020 because that means more rallies. And, yes, he’s already tapped someone steeped in Russian sauce to head his campaign. Would you have expected anything else?

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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I love how we haven’t even gotten through the mid-terms, which are increasingly more likely to be a disaster for him, and the bastard is already announcing a re-election campaign. His own party might run his ass out of office if they lose control of the Congress in November. They’ll put up a of shit while they are still in power because that’s all the GOP cares about. But watch the back-biting that happens should they be wiped out in November, which is an actual real and increasingly likely possibility.

Where this nigga gonna run for president from? Prison?

This a scam, y’all, just like the first time.