Vice President Mike Pence speaks to the press pool after President Donald Trump signs S.3021, America’s Water Infrastructure Act of 2018, in the Oval Office of the White House on October 23, 2018 in Washington, DC.
Photo: Ron Sachs (Getty Images)

On Thursday, Vice President Mike Pence, the White House’s own version of Aaron Carter, was out stumping for Georgia gubernatorial candidate and current Georgia secretary of state and chief manipulator of votes, Brian Kemp.

Pence, like the rest of America, has heard that Kemp’s opponent Stacey Abrams, the woman on the cusp of becoming the first black female governor, has celebrities such as Oprah Winfrey and Will Ferrell campaigning for her. Michael B. Jordan has also been going door-to-door to help get out the vote.

Common also has been seen kicking it with Abrams.

But was the pasty-face Pence worried? Fuck yea he was.

Pence claimed that Abrams has been “bankrolled by Hollywood liberals” and added during a campaign event for Kemp, “I heard Oprah is in town today. I heard Will Ferrell was going door-to-door the other day,” the vice president said. “I’d like to remind Stacey and Oprah and Will Ferrell, I’m kind of a big deal, too.

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“And I’ve got a message for all of Stacey Abrams’s liberal Hollywood friends: This ain’t Hollywood,” he added. “This is Georgia,” the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports.

“This ain’t Hollywood” is really another way of saying, “This is the racist South!” which is also another way of issuing a dog whistle like “Yee-haw” to Kemp’s supporters. If it was Hollywood, they’d probably chase Pence’s homophobic ass out of town. I bet he won’t go to Atlanta with that BS.

The shock-therapy for gays advocate continued: “And Georgia wants a governor that’s going to put Georgia values and Georgia first. And Brian Kemp is going to do just that.”

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Oprah is actually campaigning for Abrams. Can you imagine that the impact that could have with Oprah showing up at your front door?!

If Mike Pence showed up at your front door you would probably be confused as to why the FedEx man is wearing a suit. Also, Pence needs to understand that he’s not a big deal. He’s not even close to a big deal. If Pence was standing behind you in Whole Foods wearing an I’m Mike Pence t-shirt you still wouldn’t give a shit that it was Mike Pence. Mike Pence actually dressed as Mike Pence for Halloween just so he could say, “I’m the Vice President!” when people asked him who the fuck was he supposed to be.

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Anyway, Abrams and Kemp are in a tight race only because Kemp is literally suppressing the black vote.

“RealClearPolitics shows Kemp up by an average of only 1.4 percentage points across polls with less than a week left before the election” the Hill reports. Imagine how far Abrams would be ahead if Kemp wasn’t throwing votes out of his car window while doing 70 mph on the highway.

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I’m just waiting for someone in Georgia to call the police on Oprah just to see her pay her bail with the loose hundred-dollar bills in the bottom of her purse.