One day, folks are going to learn not to come for Cardi B unless she calls for them—but that day clearly isn’t today.
Instead, some will continue trying to hitch their wagon to Cardi’s relevance by picking public fights with the star, just so folks like us will report on the shenanigans—and the inevitable ether that ensues.
Well, consider the bait taken.
Today’s volunteer as tribute? Fox News host and gun enthusiast Stephanie Hamill, who decided to step over the rotting carcass of Tomi Lahren to shoot her own shot at provoking Cardi, after Lahren was virtually eviscerated last week for attempting to mock Cardi’s intellect and political prowess. Never one to shy away from a clapback, Cardi memorably made quick work of Lahren, much to the delight of social media watchers everywhere.
But proving that conservative white women really can’t stand to be left out of shit except the right side of history, on Monday, Hamill tried her own luck. This time, the finger was pointed at Cardi’s feminism, using #MeToo as a buzzword and Cardi’s recently released “Twerk” video with City Girls as evidence of contradictory personal politics. Admirably (because I certainly wouldn’t), Hamill even felt bold enough to tag Cardi for a response.
Well, ask, and ye shall receive. Breaking it down like a not-at-all complex fraction, Cardi clapped back at the inane question with a lesson in postmodern feminism, writing:
“It says to women that I can wear and not wear what ever I want. do [whatever] I want and that NO still means NO. So Stephanie chime in..If I twerk and be half naked does that mean I deserve to get raped and molested ? I want to know what a conservative woman like you thinks.”
In other words, “kiss the ring and kick rocks, sis.”
Undeterred, Hamill responded with concern that the sexually charged imagery was harmful to women—who clearly can’t be simultaneously be sexual and serious intellectuals, in Hamill’s purview.
Unsurprisingly, social media wasn’t having yet another conservative white woman coming for Cardi, which prompted Hamill to clarify that she’s not white, but LATINA—because apparently, you can’t be both of those, either. You know, “just like @iamcardib.” (Or not at all like Cardi B, because all skinfolk ain’t kinfolk—and that goes for gender, as well.)
No words on whether Cardi will accept an invite to debate Hamill (we’d hope she wouldn’t bless Fox with the ratings), but lest her meaning escapes the willfully obtuse, this really isn’t that hard, folks. Women—like any other adults—have the autonomy to wear what we want and behave how we want without it being considered an unspoken invitation. In fact, believe it or not, everything we do ain’t about how someone else perceives or admires us. Sometimes (many or even most times, in fact), we do that shit strictly for ourselves and amongst ourselves. And that shouldn’t require an explainer or a debate.
But what’s definitely not up for debate? Cardi’s political critique, which has made our current state of political affairs relatable to folks across demographics with remarkable clarity. (Because bitch, we scared, too.)
As for Hamill: Better luck next time with the respectability politics, Boo.