Types of Black Privilege, Ranked

Alberto Rodriquez/Getty Images
Alberto Rodriquez/Getty Images

20. Just got a fresh shape-up yesterday and everyone’s treating you like you’re a half-inch taller than you actually are privilege


19. While some niggas have to dip themselves in a vat of Palmer’s 3.5-ounce Cocoa Butter Formula every morning just to leave the house, you somehow just never get ashy privilege (an underrated privilege)

18. Looks like you can throw hands—even though you really can’t—but since you look like you can, no one ever really tests you privilege

17. Nice and unreceded hairline after 30 privilege

16. Perpetually uncracked-black privilege (also called Angela Bassett privilege)

15. Got available peoples who can throw those hands if you need them to privilege

14. Can code-switch without even really trying while on the phone with customer care privilege

13. You eat swine, so you’ll never piss off anyone’s great-aunt or grandmother and ask if her greens and green beans have pork in them privilege


12. Can sing better than Alicia Keys privilege

11. Can learn new dances really, really, really easily while other niggas struggle privilege


10. Slim-thick grown-ass woman privilege

9. Good credit because you didn’t have parents who ruined your credit by using your name on a Rent-a-Center bill when you were a kid privilege


8. Can throw hands if you need to privilege

7. The right head shape for a bald head if you ever do go bald privilege

6. Is actually from the hood so doesn’t have to pretend that the hood is anything (good or bad) other than what it actually is privilege


5. Can grow a full, dark and even beard privilege

4. Has one of those jobs where you don’t really have to interact with white people at work if you don’t want to if it’s one of those “Yeah, I just can’t with white people this week” weeks privilege


3. Big butt and a nice smile privilege (BBD warned us)

2. Tall-ass dude privilege

1. Tall-ass dude with a job that doesn’t usually attract tall-ass niggas (like mechanical engineering) privilege

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)


Natalie Degraffinried

So #19 is called being properly hydrated. But nobody does that, so I guess the point is moot. >_> #DrinkMoreWater #EvenMoreThanThat