Tucker Carlson: Call Child Protective Services If You See a Child Wearing a Mask Outdoors

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On Sunday, Anthony Fauci, the nation’s leading infectious diseases expert and the most-hated doctor by Republicans who don’t believe in flossing their single tooth, noted that people can minimize mask use outdoors.


“I think it’s pretty common sense now that outdoor risk is really, really quite low, particularly—I mean, if you are a vaccinated person, wearing a mask outdoors, I mean, obviously, the risk is minuscule,” Fauci said. Even the Centers for Disease and Control and Prevention agrees with Fauci and updated its outdoor mask guidelines for fully vaccinated people on Tuesday.

But Tucker Carlson—the cuckold of Republican PornHub, the dirty white over-cuffed baseball hat inside the topless jeep that is American politics—was at it again doing that thing where he says really stupid shit that gets his people going.

His newest targets: kids wearing masks outside.

“As for forcing children to wear masks outside, that should be illegal,” Carlson said on his program, the Hill reports. “Your response when you see children wearing masks as they play should be no different from your response to seeing someone beat a kid in Walmart. Call the police immediately, contact child protective services. Keep calling until someone arrives.”

First off, I thought spanking a kid in Walmart was the American way. I kid. I don’t believe in spanking children in public. I believe in saving all that for when they get home. Sike, I don’t spank my kids in public or private and you shouldn’t either. I’m judging you.


Carlson took the good doctor’s claim and ran with it, noting that folks “are morally obligated to attempt to prevent” kids from wearing masks outdoors.

“If it’s your own children being abused, then act accordingly. Let’s say your kid’s school emailed you and announced that every day after lunch, your sixth-grader was going to get punched in the face by a teacher. How would you respond to that?” he asked. “That’s precisely how you should respond when they tell you that your kids have to wear masks on the soccer field. That is unacceptable, it is dangerous, and we should act like it because it is. But too few of us have responded like that. We have been shamefully passive in the face of all of this.”


Like there are clearly certain situations where a mask may still be needed outdoors since not everyone is fully vaccinated. Also, in what world is wearing a face condom to prevent the spread of an infectious disease akin to a teacher punching a sixth-grader in the face?

In Republican OnlyFans world, that’s where. See, in the online masturbatory space that is the racist chatroom known as Fox News, you can use any scenario to make your point. Anything.


Carlson continues to push the insurrectionists’ mission to downplay the dangers of the coronavirus.

“Many schools that do plan to reopen will do so under a series of restrictions that have no basis of any kind in science. It’s kind of a bizarre health theater. Students will be kept six feet apart, everyone will have to wear a mask, class sizes will be limited,” Carlson said last July, the Hill reports.


But because Carlson is a white man and believes his voice to be all powerful he continued his rant and I’m already bored with him.

“The people making these demands don’t own America,” Carlson said. “They didn’t build America. They can’t build anything. They can’t. And they’re not allowed to wreck it.”


For the TL;DR crowd, basically Tucker Carlson continues to be an asshole.



“They’re the aggressors,” Carlson said of people who wear masks during the segment. “It’s our job to brush them back and restore the society we were born in. So the next time you see someone in a mask on the sidewalk or on the bike path, do not hesitate. Ask politely but firmly, ‘Would you please take off your mask? Science shows there is no reason for you to be wearing it. Your mask is making me uncomfortable.’ - Josephine Harvey/HuffPo/4.27.2021