Illustration for article titled Trump Suggested Swallowing Light Bulbs and Shooting Up Disinfectant to Kill the Coronavirus. We Finna Die
Photo: MANDEL NGAN (Getty Images)

I don’t know what former President Barack Obama did to y’all—and by y’all, I’m referring specifically to the 53 percent of white women who voted against their own self-interest to elect a shit heel for president—but we now have a man in office who suggested swallowing light bulbs and shooting up disinfectant.

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On Thursday, during Trump’s campaign rally disguised as a coronavirus briefing in which he trotted out some ass named Bill Bryan, who leads the Department of Homeland Security’s science and technology division, to do his bidding around another crackpot theory Trump has about sunlight killing the virus, the president took to the podium and started asking a series of bizarre questions like a kid at a medical museum.

“So supposing we hit the body with a tremendous—whether it’s ultraviolet or just a very powerful light—and I think you said that hasn’t been checked because of the testing,” Trump said, speaking to Bryan during the briefing, NBC News reports. “And then I said, supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or some other way, and I think you said you’re going to test that, too.”

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Umm, are we really supposed to take this bama seriously?

Do y’all hear him talking about bring “the light inside the body”? What the fuck is he talking about? And because this is Trump we are talking about, you know he wasn’t done.

He then added: “I see the disinfectant that knocks it out in a minute, one minute. And is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning? As you see, it gets in the lungs, it does a tremendous number on the lungs, so it would be interesting to check that.”

Bitch, what? In what world does this shit even make sense and why are doctors and professionals like Bill Bryan sitting there acting as if this man isn’t talking about doing a disinfectant enema?

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“This notion of injecting or ingesting any type of cleansing product into the body is irresponsible and it’s dangerous,” said Dr. Vin Gupta, a pulmonologist, global health policy expert told NBC News. “It’s a common method that people utilize when they want to kill themselves.”

Do you hear that? Ingesting disinfectant is a common way that people kill themselves and the president just took a national stage to say, ‘hey, maybe this is a way to’...kill yourself.

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The president is so dumb…

How dumb is he? 

The maker of Lysol was forced to issue a statement warning against any internal use of its cleaning product.

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This is all because the president’s “game-changer” miracle drug turned out to be some bullshit. And this was after he spent some $29 million of taxpayers’ money buying up loads of this shit only for studies to say that this ain’t it, chief.

From NBC News:

An Arizona man died in late March after having ingested chloroquine phosphate — believing it would protect him from becoming infected with the coronavirus. The man’s wife told NBC News that she had watched televised briefings during which Trump talked about the potential benefits of chloroquine.

Dr. Rick Bright, a top official at the Department of Health and Human Services, says he was ousted from his job this week for pushing back on demands that he sign off on chloroquine treatments.

Bryan, under questioning from reporters, said later that federal laboratories aren’t considering such a treatment option. He added that heat and humidity alone wouldn’t kill the virus if people don’t continue to practice social distancing.

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When reporters tried to get Bryan to be the adult in the room and flat out say that the president and his ACME coyote schemes to kill the coronavirus were fucking insane, this asshat would only commit to admitting this isn’t the kind of work he does in his lab.

Bitch, huh? I don’t even have a lab and I can say that shining a light in someone’s body or doing a disinfectant colonic sounds dumb AF. This is how dangerous the president has become; not only is he spreading misinformation, but an actual doctor-doctor, like Dr. Deborah Birx, the coordinator of the White House coronavirus response, doesn’t have the ovaries to stand up and say that this might be the dumbest shit she’s heard in her whole life. Instead, when asked about heat killing the virus, she offers a lame note about she’s not heard of it as a treatment but she does know that a fever does kill a virus.

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To be fair, this was her face when the president was on the mic spouting that bullshit:

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Trump jumped in and added, “Maybe it works. Maybe it doesn’t work.” Nah, it doesn’t work and I wish one of the adults on the stage would tell you to sit your ass down and stop talking because you are embarrassing the family the way that my mom did when I asked a zoologist why the monkeys kept throwing their shit around the cage.

In my defense, I was 8 and they do it to display dominance.

What’s Trump’s excuse?

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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