Trump Says He Will Suspend Immigration Into the United States. Now If He Could Only Get Someone to Write the Executive Order

Illustration for article titled Trump Says He Will Suspend Immigration Into the United States. Now If He Could Only Get Someone to Write the Executive Order
Photo: Tasos Katopodis (Getty Images)

Trump is a victim of poor performance. According to several Russian prostitutes whom I didn’t speak with but will speak for, the president tends to jump the gun.

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On Tuesday, Trump’s minions—also known as his administration—were hurrying to get together an executive order after Trump late-night tweeted to Vladimir Putin “Hey, big head. You up?” that he would be temporarily suspending immigration to the United States and claimed that the concerns were around the coronavirus pandemic.

Let’s be clear about this: Trump hates all non-white things. He hates people of color and he’s made his entire presidency about keeping people of color out of the country. Make no mistake, when Trump talks about immigration, he’s not talking about the people of Norway: he’s talking about brown faces of people from Mexico and countries in Africa. Never forget that this administration separated migrant children from their families and put them in cages and forced them to sleep on the floor. He’s spent his entire presidency promising a dumbass wall that still isn’t finished and much like Trump’s tenure in the White House, the wall has become a symbol of all the bullshit Trump sold America and never completed.

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“In light of the attack from the Invisible Enemy, as well as the need to protect the jobs of our GREAT American Citizens, I will be signing an Executive Order to temporarily suspend immigration into the United States!” he tweeted, which was probably after Trump and Vladimir were playing “You hang up. No you hang up.”

Officials didn’t want to say that they didn’t know what the fuck Trump was talking about so an administration official told CNN that they hoped to have something for Trump to sign in the next few days.

From CNN:

While the language is still being finalized, the order is expected to temporarily halt the issuance of new green cards and work visas — steps that had already effectively already been in place amid the coronavirus pandemic.

A second administration official told CNN the executive order will be a “temporary 120 days or so” halt on “some” work visas to mitigate some of the unemployment concerns related to the pandemic.

Other aspects of the order remain unclear inside the administration, including what legal authorities the President will rely upon in the order and what other elements of immigration — including family immigration and potential exemptions — might be included.

The order is expected to include some exemptions for farm workers and health care providers, according to the official, but could also exempt some other workers deemed “essential.”

Officials were also weighing expanded travel restrictions beyond the current bans in place from China and Europe, the official said.

What effect the order will have on the operation of US border crossings and on those who already hold green cards remained unclear.

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The Trump administration has used the pandemic to push some of his more restrictive policies, “including blocking entry to asylum seekers,” CNN notes.

“President Trump is committed to protecting the health and economic well-being of American citizens as we face unprecedented times,” White House press secretary and useless mouth breather Kayleigh McEnany wrote in a statement viewed by CNN. “As President Trump has said, ‘Decades of record immigration have produced lower wages and higher unemployment for our citizens, especially for African American and Latino workers.’ At a time when Americans are looking to get back to work, action is necessary.”

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McEnany, which is French for “personality on flat flat,” didn’t mention when said executive order would be taking place because they don’t fucking know. The Trump administration must monitor Trump’s Twitter feed to learn when new policies will be pushed.

“This is not about the policy. It is about the message the president wants to send. He wants people to turn against ‘the other.’ And, regardless of the valuable contributions immigrants are making to the response and recovery, he sees immigrants as the easiest to blame,” Ali Noorani, the executive director of the National Immigration Forum, said on Twitter, CNN reports.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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DISCUSSION

Uh can I ask Trump, his collection of dumbfucks in his administration and any mouth breathing, meth head, Fox News watching rim job recipient this question: Why in the ever loving fuck would anyone want to immigrate to this country now? I mean really? Fuck anyone that voted for this putrid bag of flab and fuck his surgically enhance whore of a wife.