As Trump Refuses to Concede, His Campaign Displays Its Dwindling Relevancy in Parking Lot of a Random Landscaping Company in Philly

Illustration for article titled As Trump Refuses to Concede, His Campaign Displays Its Dwindling Relevancy in Parking Lot of a Random Landscaping Company in Philly
Photo: Chris McGrath (Getty Images)

Surprising no one, Donald Trump is refusing to accept the results of the election that has made him a one term president.

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After multiple networks called Pennsylvania for Joe Biden on Saturday, projecting that the former Vice President had secured 284 electoral votes—more than enough to win the Presidency—the Trump campaign sent out a statement about its plans to somehow challenge the election results in court.

“Beginning Monday, our campaign will start prosecuting our case in court to ensure election laws are fully upheld and the rightful winner is seated,” said the statement from Trump shared by AP.

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“We all know why Joe Biden is rushing to falsely pose as the winner, and why his media allies are trying so hard to help him: they don’t want the truth to be exposed,” the statement went on to say.

What truth, you may ask? Just the same old conspiracy theory that only votes cast for Trump were legal, and that votes cast against him should be thrown out.

More from the ridiculous statement:

The American People are entitled to an honest election: that means counting all legal ballots, and not counting any illegal ballots. This is the only way to ensure the public has full confidence in our election. It remains shocking that the Biden campaign refuses to agree with this basic principle and wants ballots counted even if they are fraudulent, manufactured, or cast by ineligible or deceased voters. Only a party engaged in wrongdoing would unlawfully keep observers out of the count room – and then fight in court to block their access.

So what is Biden hiding? I will not rest until the American People have the honest vote count they deserve and that Democracy demands.

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The outgoing president also hopped on Twitter to blather some more bullshit, shouting into the void that he won with 71 million “legal” votes.

We all knew Trump would be a sore loser, but somehow it feels even more pathetic to see these empty attempts to project victory and confidence—especially since he is still hiding his face and has yet to face the public.

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Luckily, the rest of his team, headed by his fellow conspiracy theorist Rudy Giuliani, has stepped up in Trump’s stead to show just how pathetic the campaign is feeling right now.

Apparently, Trump’s team meant to set up a presser at the Four Seasons Hotel in Philadelphia on Saturday to promote its plans to challenge the election results in court (a strategy they launched even while votes were still being counted, so far to no success).

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But upon clarification from the Four Seasons Hotel on Twitter, it became evident that the Trump team had actually booked the Four Seasons Total Landscaping company in Philadelphia for the event.

And so Giuliani and Trump advisor Corey Lewandowksi set up in the parking lot of the landscaping building, “nestled between a crematorium and an adult film store, to declare that the president wouldn’t concede,” reports Bloomberg.

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Check out this hot mess:

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According to Bloomberg, the campaigns calls to major supporters on Saturday were primarily about begging for money to fund Trump’s post-election fight.

I feel like this whole absurd parking lot press-conference exemplifies the haphazard way in which the Trump campaign is going to pretend their man has a claim to the presidency, in order to disguise that its main concern right now is likely shoring up Trump’s empty coffers.

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Either way, the next few weeks are probably going to be messy. Buckle in and grab some popcorn.

Writer, speaker, finesser, and a fly dresser. Jamaican-American currently chilling in Chicago.

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DISCUSSION

nosleep4giant
Non Sleeping Giant

What the hell is this ghetto ass shit??

This Kmart presidency can’t end soon enough.