Photo: Drew Angerer (Getty Images)

President Trump started out as the racist old man standing on his Twitter lawn yelling about the black kids driving fast through the neighborhood. Yes, he’s only yelling at the black kids, because he’s racist. With time and higher approval ratings, the further he goes into his racist bag; the president is becoming more emboldened, more sinister and more racist.

Raise your hand if you thought there would come a day when the White House would be desecrated by a racist, xenophobic, pussy-grabbing charlatan (emphasis on tan).

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And you know whose fault this is? Obama’s.

Lifetime president and current professor of “Life’s Work: The Cultural influence of Hendrix and Coltrane” at Wakanda University is to blame for Trump’s presidency. That’s because his presidency was a moment of black excellence, and white nationalists, white supremacists and run-of-the-mill racists couldn’t stand it.

All of this—this fake-ass billionaire president, these early morning racist rants on Twitter, this worldwide embarrassment of a presidency—is all payback for a man and his family whose biggest scandal to date was wearing a tan suit and dad jeans.

So it’s Monday, and you know that means the president is using his burner cellphone to tweet a rack of racist shit from the presidential coffin. He’s even gone so far into his racist bag to bash one-time conk-wearer and professional weight-loss champion and defender of black rights, Rev. Al Sharpton.

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Trump then moved onto or, back to—depending on how long you’ve been following the president’s tweets—bashing Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-Md.), who he detests because the congressman has used his voice—and his position of power as the chairman of the House Oversight Committee—to call out the administration’s concentration camp tactics against migrant children.

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Then, Trump found a way to connect Cummings to “the Squad,” because the president has a history of hating women who stand up to him.

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And then, he went back to Sharpton…

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Because the president has found a way to control his minions through his Twitter account, moments after the president’s tweet, Tawana Brawley began trending on Twitter.

For those not old enough to remember when Sharpton was a heavy-set perm in a velour tracksuit, in 1987, 15-year-old Brawley went missing from her Wappingers, N.Y., home, and she claimed that she’d been kidnapped and sexually assaulted by a group of white men. The case drew national attention and Sharpton was one of Brawley’s most vocal supporters. A grand jury determined that Brawley made the story up to avoid punishment from her strict parents. After the grand jury’s findings, many prominent black figures, including Sharpton, backed away from their support. Her parents believed that the allegations were true.

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Nevertheless, it became a stain on Sharpton’s suit and further proof for those who believed that Sharpton’s efforts in the black community weren’t pure.

And today, in 2019, in the year of our lord Lizzo, the followers of Trump, the racist Pavlov’s dog that they are, have responded. Sharpton told media on Monday that his trip to Baltimore had been preplanned to look at the decrease of black homeownership and possible solutions to economic empowerment. He didn’t think he’d be talking about Trump, yet here we are. It’s important that you watch the clip below, because Sharpton hands Trump his ass and I wouldn’t want to spoil it for you.

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