Trump Is Willing to Defund Real Soldiers to Protect Statues of Racist Generals

Illustration for article titled Trump Is Willing to Defund Real Soldiers to Protect Statues of Racist Generals
Photo: SAUL LOEB (Getty Images)

President Donald Trump, the man voted most likely to rub soft carrots all over his flaccid body, has weaponized Twitter once again by threatening to veto a national defense bill if an amendment from Sen. Elizabeth Warren (It should’ve been you and not Joe Biden!) demanding that military bases honoring the losers that are the Confederacy be renamed.


“I will Veto the Defense Authorization Bill if the Elizabeth ‘Pocahontas’ Warren (of all people!) Amendment, which will lead to the renaming (plus other bad things!) of Fort Bragg, Fort Robert E. Lee, and many other Military Bases from which we won Two World Wars, is in the Bill!” Trump tweeted, NBC News notes.

According to NBC News, “the amendment was adopted by the GOP-led Senate Armed Services Committee earlier this month with support from both Democrats and Republicans.”

The idea was that the massive National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) would rename all bases and other military assets after the Confederacy because why the fuck were they named after these losers in the first fucking place? The bill would ask that within in three years—so all the racists could go out to the bases and take photos with the signs and kiss the signs and rub their naked parts across the signs—they’d remove all names, symbols, displays and all that other shit that honors the Lolo Jones of American history. (Seriously, has another athlete that’s never won anything ever been more celebrated than Lolo Jones?)

“American military bases that carry the names of Confederate generals are not named for heroes,” Warren said in a floor speech Tuesday, NBC News notes. “They are not named for men who risked their lives defending the United States and its soldiers. They are named for men who took up arms against the United States of America and killed American soldiers in the defense of slavery.”

Warren added, “Those who complain that removing the names of traitors from these bases ignores history ought to learn some history themselves.”


The Senate was hoping to pass this defense policy before July Fourth while the House is working on its own version. While I care about the renaming of racist shit, you know what else I like? Water and electricity and cable. How about Congress get to work on that second stimulus check? I want these names off buildings as much as the next non-racist but I also want to continue to shower.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


Bae Bae Watt

He doesn’t give a shit if Russia pays to have the troops killed, why would he give a shit about funding them?