President Trump is having his best week ever as president.
First, special counsel Robert Muller’s investigation into whether there was collusion with Russia to gift wrap the 2016 presidential election—the investigation that has hovered over Trump’s presidency like a black cloud—has in Trump’s words “exonerated him.”
Trump’s cries that the investigation was a “witch hunt” and the work of “12 angry Democrats” now make him look like a soothsayer to his followers who have trouble saying “soothsayer” three times fast.
Then, the president’s adversary, Michael Avenatti—the former lawyer for the spanker of the president’s untanned ass with a rolled Forbes magazine, porn actress Stormy Daniels—has been accused of trying to extort millions of dollars from Nike.
And as if Trump’s days couldn’t get any better, the House fell short of the two-thirds votes needed to override his veto of legislation blocking his national emergency declaration at the border.
Trump’s feeling so good that he reportedly kicked a baby goat in the face and is mulling over the idea of attending the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner for the first time in his presidency.
According to Axios, Trump, who ghosted the 2017 and 2018 events, has been feeling himself lately and is considering stopping by the April 27 dinner just to gloat that he’s out here killing these bamas now that Attorney General William Barr’s summary of special counsel Robert Mueller’s report found that there was no collusion with Russia.
Trump is considering showing up with an ankle-length mink coat. He will then grab the mic and say, “To paraphrase the great African-American philosopher Kanye, ‘Can’t a young president get money anymore? Tell PETA my mink is dragging on the floor.’”
And then he walks out.
Axios doesn’t know “how serious” Trump is about really showing up, but he’s having the best time, and if he was going to a correspondents’ dinner, now would be the time since he bitched and moaned after comedian Michelle Wolf’s 2018 speech in which she shut shit down.
For the first time in ever, The White House Correspondents’ Association (WHCA) will have historian Ron Chernow host the event instead of an entertainer, a move that was announced in November to the delight of the president.
Wolf has called the WHCA “cowards” for not selecting a comedian, adding that “the media is complicit.”
The Hill notes that Trump is the first sitting president who wasn’t recuperating from an assassination attempt (see, Ronald Reagan in 1981) not to attend the event.