Trump: I Got the Coronavirus to Prove I Could Beat It Because That’s What Leaders Do!

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Photo: Win McNamee (Getty Images)

President Outbreak Monkey left Walter Reed Military National Military Medical Center Monday night and then took his highly infectious ass up to a White House balcony where he removed his mask and waved to the crowd looking like he was going to vomit or cough. He was out of breath and looked like he was gasping for air.


And then the president of people who believe garbage bags are just as good as suitcases dropped another video (because he’s got a mixtape coming out in a few weeks) in which he made even more wild-ass claims, including acting as if he went maskless all these months to get the coronavirus so that he could beat it because that’s being a leader.

“We’re going back. We’re going back to work. We’re gonna be out front. As your leader I had to do that. I knew there’s danger to it but I had to do it,” Trump says in his best WWE voice, CNN reports.

“I stood out front. I led. Nobody that’s a leader would not do what I did. I know there’s a risk, there’s a danger.”


All of you who thought Trump wasn’t wearing a mask because he was a giant, privileged asshole are short-sighted idiots!


This entire time, Trump was facing the coronavirus head-on like the X-man so he could become infected and prove, once and for all, that he isn’t human. Sure he was hopped up on experimental drugs and was panting like a homeless dog on that balcony. And, yes, he’s full of shit but that doesn’t change the fact that Trump took on the coronavirus like a man. A fat man who paints his face with old jelly beans, but a man nonetheless.

Sen. Kelly Loeffler (R-Ga.) gets it as she tweeted this:


You know who else gets it? Nestor’s adoptive father, who didn’t adopt him and isn’t his father, Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) who tweeted:


And if you think it’s beneath the president to make “beating” the coronavirus about “toughness” then you would be wrong. Does it imply that the more than 200,000 people who’ve lost their lives to the coronavirus weren’t tough enough? Of course it does, but Trump doesn’t care about those who’ve died; he only cares about the living, and by living, I mean Donald Trump, the man strong enough to meet coronavirus in a dark alley and then punch it in the face!

Oh and if you want to remember the moment, the White House is already selling “Trump defeats COVID” commemorative coins in the gift shop.


I. Wish. I. Were. Joking.




When did I step into a fucking cartoon? If this shit were on TV, I’d have changed the channel long ago, because they are so transparent in their lies and obfuscation, it’s laughable. The plot holes, and leaps in logic alone are gigantic. But, here we are...