Trump Continues His Junior-High Break-Up With Jeff Sessions

Illustration for article titled Trump Continues His Junior-High Break-Up With Jeff Sessions
Photo: Win McNamee (Getty Images)

Like most couples, Attorney General Jeff Sessions changed once he and President Donald Trump got together. Sessions used to sit at the same lunch table with Trump and talk about who was more racist, but ever since they made it official, Sessions turned his back on the relationship, started going out more and wearing less.


At least that’s the way that Trump sees it.

In a recent interview with The Hill, Trump wanted America to know that while he and Sessions still have tickets to the next Justin Bieber concert, they probably won’t sit together and definitely won’t be wearing matching outfits.

“I don’t have an Attorney General. It’s very sad,” Trump said Tuesday before letting on that he was single and might be ready to mingle with another head of the Justice Department.

“I’m so sad over Jeff Sessions because he came to me,” Trump said. “He was the first Senator that endorsed me. And he wanted to be Attorney General, and I didn’t see it.”

Trump also painted Sessions as an elderly confused old man, which is fair.

“And then he went through the nominating process and he did very poorly. I mean, he was mixed up and confused, and people that worked with him for, you know, a long time in the Senate were not nice to him, but he was giving very confusing answers. Answers that should have been easily answered. And that was a rough time for him.”


At this point I want Sessions and Trump to end it all. This public feud has reached Kardashian levels of drama, and what it all boils down to is that Trump believed that the Attorney General’s job was to be his personal attorney and chase every harebrained conspiracy he had while insulating him from legal responsibility.

The interview is the latest in a long series of public and private attacks against Sessions. Trump’s ongoing anger was first prompted by Sessions’ May 2017 decision to recuse himself from all matters concerning the Russia investigations after it became clear he failed to disclose his contacts with Russian officials during the campaign.


But now their relationship seems beyond repair. They are now the pair who you invite over for couples night and all they do is argue. The only question is who gets what in the divorce. Will Jeff Sessions get to keep the matching Klan robes? Will it be awkward when they both show up at Vladimir Putin’s annual cookout? Can they negotiate joint custody of the Mueller investigation?

I just hope they are able to rekindle their relationship when they are forced to cohabitate in a federal prison cell.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.



At this point I want Sessions and Trump to end it all.

Not me. One of the few pleasures of this nightmare is watching Trump humiliate the people who debase themselves for him and watching him do it to Racist Hermie the Elf puts a smile on my face.I don’t care whether it Sessions or firing Tillerson when he was on the toilet or having Omarosa kicked out of the White House. I like these people learning that when you climb in bed with the Devil, you can’t cry when he decides to fuck you.