President Donald Trump and his playmate Russian President Vladimir Putin
Photo: Steffen Kugler (Getty Images)

Donald Trump loves Vladimir Putin. He openly wants to be him. He secretly wishes that he could be the president of a mob country that hosts sham elections like Putin. Like a teenage boy who’s been forbidden from hanging with the troubled boy down the street, Trump has sneaked out of the house to smoke cigarettes with Putin.

Doesn’t matter that the president of the United States is currently being investigated for his relationship with Russia; he won’t stop openly loving his man crush.

During a phone call Tuesday, Trump didn’t mention Russia’s meddling in the 2016 election. He also didn’t mention Russia’s reported poisoning of a Russian former military intelligence officer and his daughter in the U.K. Nope, the president just congratulated Putin—a Russian dictator who isn’t a friend of the United States but who seems to be a personal friend of the U.S. president—for winning a sham election.

At the White House, Trump confirmed the call and said that he congratulated Putin “on the victory,” the Washington Post reports. Speaking to reporters in the Oval Office, Trump added that he and Putin would meet “in the not-too-distant future.”

He also tapped his breast pocket, which I hear held a shirtless photo of Putin on the beach.

Advertisement

Trump told reporters, according to the Post:

I had a call with President Putin and congratulated him on the victory, his electoral victory. [...] The call had to do, also, with the fact that we will probably get together in the not too distant future so that we can discuss arms, we can discuss the arms race. As you know, he made a statement that being in an arms race is not a great thing, that was right after the election, one of the first statements he made. And we are spending $700 billion this year on our military, and a lot of it is that we are going to remain stronger than any other nation in the world, by far. [...]

We had a very good call, and I suspect that we will probably be meeting in the not too distant future to discuss the arms race, which is getting out of control. ... And also to discuss Ukraine and Syria and North Korea and various other things.

Advertisement

Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) was surprised to learn that the president congratulated Putin on his re-election, and took to Twitter to note his displeasure with the president.

“An American president does not lead the Free World by congratulating dictators on winning sham elections,” McCain wrote. “And by doing so with Vladimir Putin, President Trump insulted every Russian citizen who was denied the right to vote in a free and fair election.”

Advertisement

There is no word on whether or not Putin and Trump are still looking for a condo in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., but they have discussed co-ownership of a cat.