Trump Claims China Hacked Hillary Clinton's Email, the FBI Determines That Is a Lie (Maury Voice)

Illustration for article titled Trump Claims China Hacked Hillary Clinton's Email, the FBI Determines That Is a Lie (Maury Voice)
Photo: Kevin C. Cox (Getty Images)

On Wednesday, some time between the president’s morning ritual of slaughtering a baby goat so he can use the blood to moisturize his scalp, and typing on his iPad that he affectionately calls the “flat one”, the president tweeted yet another mistruth from his presidential Twitter account.


According to the New York Daily News, Trump tweeted an unsubstantiated claim that China hacked Hillary Clinton’s emails. Presumably with a head full of baby goat’s blood, Trump tweeted:

We know that Trump wrote this tweet because of the random capitalization throughout, also, the exclamation point; because nothing says “I’m not on reading level” like an exclamation point for no good reason!

The president’s tweet forced the FBI to have to answer questions about a president’s TWEET!

While a Justice Department spokeswoman declined to comment, an FBI official told the Daily News the bureau has “not found any evidence the servers were compromised.”

The official also didn’t answer the president’s “next move” demand because that official didn’t know what the hell the president was even talking about.


The story even caused the Daily News to throw shade at the president.

The President, who frequently complains about anonymous sourcing, didn’t provide any evidence to back up what he called “a very big story,” and a White House spokeswoman did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

But Trump’s tweet notably came on the heels of a report from right-wing outlet Daily Caller titled “China Hacked Hillary Clinton’s Private Email Server.”

The report, citing two unnamed “sources briefed on the matter,” alleged a “Chinese-owned company” based in Washington hacked into the private server that Clinton faced flak for using while serving as secretary of state under President Barack Obama. The hackers obtained “nearly all her emails,” according to the report.


Most likely Trump heard about the claim from his personal YouTube station, Fox News, which reportedly ran a piece on the Daily Caller report. Instead of the president of the United States picking up the phone and calling the FBI to find out if the report is true, he runs to Twitter to challenge the FBI and the Department of Justice to investigate the claim ... from the FUCKING DAILY CALLER!!

This sounds like another of the president and his core group of right-winged conspiracy theorists attempts to move the meter from the very real investigation into Trump’s obvious ties to Russia and put the focus on the very fake look into Hillary Clinton’s emails.


At some point, I want to wake up from this bad dream where the Daily Caller and Fox News stop running the White House and return to the good old days when Trump was behind a desk trying to decide if NeNe Leaks or Meat Loaf ruined the Camping World challenge.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.



To be able to lie so frequently and with so little hesitation, and to (appear) no worse for the wear after all that? That’s a super power. This man is the Lex Luthor of lies. The Prince of the Power of the Air is forced to bow before him having witnessed such a sustained feet of strength. Even the Liar from the Beginning begs for mercy.

This would have broken and then killed the soul of an even slightly more decent man.