I haven’t done a full count of how many times President Ass Face has said former President Barack Obama’s name, but at this point I’m expecting him to follow Obama out of a club in Los Angeles and force his way into Obama’s SUV.
He literally can’t stop saying Obama’s name. During an interview with the fake-news show Fox & Friends, Donald Trump said that he believes Obama is behind the leaks within his administration. He also added that he believes that angry town hall folks are plants put there by Obama’s administration and not there because he’s the worst president to ever president.
“No, I think that President Obama is behind it because his people are certainly behind it,” Trump said during the show that aired Monday, CNN reports. “And some of the leaks possibly come from that group, which are really serious because they are very bad in terms of national security. But I also understand that is politics. In terms of him being behind things, that’s politics. And it will probably continue.”
I don’t know how to say this politely, but Obama doesn’t give a fuck about you. In fact, he’s currently filing a restraining order against your ass because you are acting crazy and disturbing his happy place after eight years of running this abusive-ass country the best he could.
Trump doesn’t want to see you. He doesn’t want your job. He doesn’t want you calling him. He broke up with America, and it’s time that you let it go. He’s moving on with his life, and you’re starting to look real stalkerish with the number of times you mention his name in interviews as if he’s still pining away for you.
Step up your tanning game and worry about your own shit. According to the latest polls, half of America can’t stand you, and trust me when I tell you that Obama is in that half. He doesn’t want to see you fail or win; in fact—and this may be the hardest part to swallow—he doesn’t care about anything you’re doing because he doesn’t fuck with you. When Obama walked away from the White House, he didn’t look back. In fact, those of us who are still grieving over his absence have been having trouble watching him move on without us.
His tan is better than yours, his wife is better than yours, his Cabinet was better than yours and his presidency up until this point has been better than yours, and that has to burn. But while it’s burning, do us all a favor and stop with the conspiracy theories. He isn’t calling your phone and hanging up. He isn’t checking your Twitter feed to see what you’ve posted. He doesn’t fuck with you, and it’s time to move on and keep his name off your lips. Trust me, it’s better for all of us.
Read more at CNN.