Illustration for article titled Top Cop Jeff Sessions Speaks to Chiefs of Police and Collectively They Form the Broviet Union
Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

The Trump administration is continuing its tradition of speaking to crowds that are largely favorable to its policies. On Thursday, Attorney General Jeff “King Keebler” Sessions spoke at the International Association of Chiefs of Police conference in Nashville, Tenn.


What is the International Association of Chiefs of Police? Who knows, but it looks like a grown-up version of those collegiate groups that super believe in Jesus and have the best cookies because they know that the cookies are really going to get people to come.

I didn’t attend the International Association of Chiefs of Police event, but I did watch it live on CNN, and I can say from the images that it looked like a convention of white men and buzz cuts. I did see one bald black man, but no one asked him whether there was hateration or holleration in this dancery, so I have no way of knowing if he’s Wakanda-affiliated.

Nevertheless, Sessions did his usual tap dance of praising the work the officers do and ensuring them that as the top cop, he will continue to make sure they have everything they need to continue to harass, arrest, imprison, beat and intimidate people of color to do their job.


At this point, everyone in the room stood up and hailed Brosama bin Laden as their exalted leader, and then King Keebler’s ears began to start flapping, and off he flew. Seriously, nothing happened at this damn convention, but I watched it and I feel like you all should have to struggle with me.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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