I have 3,800 Twitter followers and asked them if they would discuss issues of relationship and fidelity for publication. I asked these specific four questions:
Question 1: Is it really true that being rich, famous, a pro athlete changes the game so that a man MUST be expected to cheat?
Question 2: If men at the top of their game do get a pass for bad behavior, is it the women who are allowing/inspiring this behavior? Or men?
Question 3: Are most millennial/Gen X relationships today assumed to be transactional (I give/I get) vs. being based on unconditional love?
Question 4: Would you see viable alternatives to marriage or monogamy that would be more respectful than the cheater game. & they wld be..? .
Here are a few of the responses:
@StuMcDnld: Q1: No man should be EXPECTED to cheat. Especially a married man who has entered a covenant relationship w/ his wife.
@JayBevier: people cheat cuz they think they have game and will get away with it. When caught, its a lesson 2 step the game up
@primusluta: Q1: Anyone who cheats got married for the wrong reasons. Famous people have lots of wrong reasons at their disposal.
@primusluta: Q2: In an individualistic society people sacrifice family for self, but self MUST be sacrificed for family
@RadioMacGuru: Personally, do whatever you want w/ whoever you want but as soon as you get married or kids, be responsible
@KolaBoof: Men like a "challenge" & Romantic Women aren't all that challeng. Men say they're annoying. Tolerate 4Sex, leave
@primusluta: Q2: Our society places many things above the family hierarchically. Our social order is individualistic.
@RadioMacGuru: In reference to your 4th question theONLY alt to not cheating is to not get married, attached, get kids in the 1st place.
@BlackCanseco: played streetball + seen grown men offering -ish when we're 14, girls layin' it out @ 16 … it's all downhill from there.
@GrrrlRomeo: Q1: From what I've heard, famous men (politicians/celebs) cheat because they feel special and rules don't apply to them.
@StuMcDnld: Q4: Without marriage/monogamy, in the long run, the society would fail to function properly.
@StuMcDnld: Q4: While some believe that we can't be monogamous, I think it's a cheaters lie. Love is not an emotion, it's a choice.
@lolaschild: repression gets a bad rap but it can be a productive power
@heLLobrOOklyn:: Q3) Relationships have never been about uncond'l love, though that wld be nice. People are more honest/clear now
@BlackCanseco: I've seen 18 yro top draft picks walk into 21+ clubs, get hit on by 30 yro women. But we're mad at them?
@RadioMacGuru: Open relationships can only lead to jealousy & breakup.
@StuMcDnld: Far 2 many Christians rush into marriage b/c they want sex & things SEEM right w/out truly examining thmslvs & their SO
@KolaBoof: "LOVE" is like "race"…majority of people don't honestly know what that is. Or its value/place. TV sells us GENERIC
@kokoesquire: TV is modern day colisseum or town square; we witness someone lynched or stoned or adorned with the scarlet letter
@GrrrlRomeo: People can be in love and committed without marriage. The functional purpose of marriage is responsibility.
@dcampell: monogamy was instituted by men to ensure the progeny were the true heirs to his fortune…very antiquated.
@StuMcDnld: .For me, a pre-nup will NEVER happen b/c it makes allowance for divorce. And that will under no circumstances happen.
@primusluta: Q4: Marriage and family are a lifetime work, not things to be understood through whimsical desire.
@dcampell: yes, [marriage] unnatural and enforced on women…polygamy/polyandry more natural…
@GrrrlRomeo: I feel a responsibility for my partner even though there's no contract to be…. However, the law & society says I'm not as responsible for her as a legal spouse would be.
@primusluta: Q3: unconditional love doesn't make a good marriage, the respect for your partner as you do yourself does.
@KeilaBee1: It's like they chill once they take vows instead of realizing that's when the grind really begins bc you have more to lose
@mrdaveyd: the solution is to get with someone who ain't phased by temptation & can appreciate companionship & values integrity
@BlackCanseco: When mailmen + teachers get famous, we'll read about their hoes, too.
@akaziaj: (Solutions) open marriage. Redefining marriage. A pill that makes you only attractive to your significant other.
Farai Chideya is an award-winning author and journalist. Follow her on Twitter.