On Wednesday, a little after 10 a.m. on the East Coast, which means that the president has already walked the halls of the White House wearing only an adult diaper and a robe made the innards of orphaned baby seals clubbed to death with oak legs from authentic Victorian-era dining tables. He’s already drank a full goblet of warm goat’s blood and has punched several puppies in the face for exercise.
After his morning Forbes spanking, the self-described “stable genius” who knows all the “best words” then sent another of his misspelled, nonsensical tweets that either stated that America is going to war with Forrest Gump’s managers, or he’s cutting funding to Federal Emergency Management Agency funding to the State of California.
Trump has now deleted the tweet but this 11th runner-up in the 1963 Hitler Youth Spelling Bee is still the President.
Maybe someone in the White House suggested that it would be wise for the president to pick a fight that he could win since he’s becoming increasingly desperate with his border slats/government shutdown. The president’s reality TV camera moment during prime viewing hours Tuesday bombed but so did the Democrats’ rebuttal. I guess now the strategy is to move to a winnable fight like taking money used to prevent “forrest” fires from a state that is still recovering from massive destruction to its “forrests.”
ABC 7 notes that this isn’t the first time the president has criticized California for its handling of wildfires. He attacked the state and blamed those fighting the flames of wildfires in November on “gross mismanagement, sparking backlash from firefighters and state leaders.”
He would later walk the comments back because he realized that you can’t throw shade on wildfires when you’ve turned the White House into a massive dumpster fire.
Hopefully, someone in the White House will take the presidential iPad from the tiny fingers of America’s worst president and turn on the acoustic version of Baby Shark and bring him a warm towel drenched in mongoose semen so that he can take his nap.