Texas Lawmaker Calls Former Special Counsel Robert Mueller an 'Anal Opening'

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) attends a joint hearing of the House Judiciary and Oversight and Government Reform committee.
Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) is an asshole. He’s also part of a group of assholes known as Republicans. This asshole conglomerate supports President Donald Trump. Trump’s mouth is shaped like an anus.

Gohmert knows a thing or two about assholes, so when the Texas congressman calls someone like, say, former special counsel Robert Mueller, an “anal opening,” he knows what he’s talking about.

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“He’s done some irreparable damage to some things and he’s got to answer for them,” Gohmert told Politico ahead of Mueller’s public testimony before Congress.

Gohmert “is one of 25 Republicans on the House Intelligence and Judiciary committees who gets to grill Mueller during the back-to-back hearings scheduled later this month,” the Hill reports.

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Gohmert noted that Mueller’s report didn’t help him see Mueller as less of an asshole.

“It reinforced the anal opening that I believe Mueller to be,” Gohmert said.

From the Hill:

Lawmakers from both parties will have the opportunity to question Mueller for hours during back-to-back House hearings on July 17 about the findings of his 22-month investigation into Russia’s election interference in 2016 and potential obstruction of justice by President Trump.

Democrats want to amplify the contents of Mueller’s 448-page report, which details efforts from Trump to gain control of and thwart the probe into his campaign’s contacts with Russia.

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Mueller’s report didn’t say that Trump obstructed justice, but we all know that he did and just because Mueller can’t say that there is a ham sandwich sitting on the table doesn’t mean that there isn’t a goddamn ham sandwich sitting on the table!

Attorney General William Barr—aka Evil John Goodman, aka John Badman, aka FuckThisFlintstone—found out on his own that nothing happened and there was nothing to see after reading the CliffsNotes version of the report written by the Kremlin, which found that there wasn’t enough to accuse Trump of criminal wrongdoing.

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About the author

Stephen A. Crockett Jr.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.