Illustration for article titled Ted Cruz Challenged Actor Ron Perlman to Wrestle Jim Jordan, Which Further Proves That 2020 Is Trash
Photo: Erin Scott (Getty Images)

It all started with a goddamn chicken sandwich and now 2020 hasn’t just jumped the shark, it’s off the rails and headed towards Clay Morrow and a congressman wrestling, as nothing says this year is just a complete fucking waste like the performative, homoerotic art of wrestling.

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I don’t even know how it got started, I just know that there are two people I would fuck with in real life under any circumstances and that’s Tony Soprano and Clarence “Clay” Morrow because these guys….

Managing Editor Genetta Adams: Stephen, Tony Soprano and Clay Morrow are fictional characters.

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Me: Huh?

GA: They don’t exist.

Me: Tell that to the Sons of Anarchy, an all-white motorcycle gang who are currently moving guns from the old country...

GA: All fake.

Me: You don’t know anything. Next you’re going to tell me that Ohio congressman Jim Jordan worked as a wrestling coach for Ohio State and knew of sexual assaults and never reported them!

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GA: ummm….

Me: Fake News! *runs from the room*

So I don’t know what happened or what started all of this, but somehow Sen. Ted Cruz, aka Rafael Edward Cruz, aka Big Eddie Munster, ended up challenging Clay Morrow, the leader of the SOA, to a wrestling match. But being the stone-cold, soft-serve cone that he is, Rafael didn’t want to wrestle himself, he wanted Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) to wrestle in his place.

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Clay Morrow or Ron Perlman as the press calls him.
Clay Morrow or Ron Perlman as the press calls him.
Photo: Emma McIntyre (Getty Images)

Here’s how the Hill explains it:

The challenge came after Perlman and Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) got into a Twitter spat over U.S. Soccer removing a requirement to stand during the national anthem before matches, which included Perlman calling Jordan “the ugliest politician walking.”

“Listen Hellboy. You talk good game when you’ve got Hollywood makeup & stuntmen,” Cruz tweeted. “But I’ll bet $10k—to the nonpolitical charity of your choice—that you couldn’t last 5 min in the wrestling ring w/ @Jim_Jordan w/o getting pinned. You up for it? Or does your publicist say too risky?”

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Clay Morrow, or someone named “Ron Perlman,” which is how news organizations keep referring to him, was like “Bitch, do you know I will punch you all up in your silly ass face? Do you know I will go full fucking SOA all over your pudgy ass body?”

OK, he didn’t say any of that, but he did question what kind of man Cruz must be to offer up another man to a fight. He then challenged Rafael to a fight and said he’d donate $50,000 to Black Lives Matter.

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Clay Morrow was pissed over a tweet that Gaetz sent, noting that he’d “rather the U.S. not have a soccer team than have a soccer team that won’t stand for the National Anthem.”

“You shouldn’t get to play under our flag as our national team if you won’t stand when it is raised,” Gaetz added in a tweet that’s gone viral, the Hill reports.

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Perlman later replied to Gaetz while tagging President Trump:

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Gaetz being the Trump ass barnacle that he is, responded by calling Perlman a “racial justice warrior” and because Gaetz is also an idiot and doesn’t understand anything about “acting,” criticized Perlman for playing a fictional white supremacist on the FX series, Sons of Anarchy.

Despite Clay Morrow’s allegiance to the SOA, he’s been critical of Trump’s presidency and endorsed “Sen. Kamala Harris’ (D-Calif.) presidential campaign while joining other actors and performers in calling on a boycott of Georgia shortly after Republican Brian Kemp defeated Stacey Abrams (D) in the state’s gubernatorial race in 2018,” the Hill reports.

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They don’t want Clay Morrow to raise hell, boy. They really don’t.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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