trump
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Trump Moonwalks All Over U.S. Intelligence Again, Claims He Doesn't Believe Russia is Targeting Midterm Elections
On Monday, during a press conference with American President Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump kindly escorted the entire U.S. intelligence agency outside to a Helskini highway, where he introduced them to a bus after claiming that he didn’t believe that Russia had anything to do with interfering in the 2016 election despite all claims that it…
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Trump Now Claims He Believes American Intelligence on Russia. Trump is Also a Lying-Ass Liar
The biggest problem with having a habitual liar in the highest office in the land is that a habitual liar is in the highest office in the land. On Monday, during a press conference with Russian president and resident Russian thug with the passcode to America’s wifi, Vladimir Putin, Trump stood on a global stage…
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Trump's Joint Press Conference With Russian President Makes Their Secret Love an Official Relationship
The president of the United States is currently in a relationship with the Justin Bieber of world leaders. Vladimir Putin is not just a bad boy, he’s a Russian mobster, a dictator and an actual thug, not a play thug for R&B likes. The president has been caught talking to Putin on his burner phone…
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12 Russians Indict for Meddling in 2016 Election and President Trump Still Doesn't Care
On Friday, just days before President Trump is set to meet one-on-one with Russian President Vladimir Putin, the Justice Department announced that a dozen Russian military officials have been indicted for their role in an effort to sabotage the 2016 presidential election. And by sabotage, I mean infiltrating emails and computers used by Democrats to…
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Trump Administration Bullies Poor Countries Into Disavowing Breast-Feeding, Stands With Formula Companies: Report
The Trump administration has threatened so-called third world nations into backing off an international resolution supporting breastfeeding—universally touted by experts as the best nutritional option for infants—standing with formula companies who are losing market share in the U.S. On Sunday, the New York Times reported that the administration sought to amend a pro-breastfeeding resolution at…
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Trump to Announce Supreme Court Nominee in Prime Time Because He’s a Drama Queen
President Shoo-Shoo Von ApprenticeFace only knows how to win the ratings. He’s yet to realize that running the country isn’t a popularity contest and as such, Donald Trump is building anticipation for his Supreme Court nominee announcement as if he’s LeBron famously saying “I’m going to take my talent to South Beach.” And we all…
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Trump to NFL: Congratulations, You Played Yourself
The NFL went out of its way to try and appease President Oppression Von Anusmouth’s demands to stop black players from kneeling during the national anthem to protest the overpolicing of black communities. The NFL’s concession and new national anthem policy was to have players stay in the locker room while “The Star-Spangled Banner” plays—but…
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Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Wants to Make America Great Again by Hiring 61 Foreign Workers: Report
Trump is a magician whose only magic trick is convincing a group of backwater racists that he shares the same values as they do. Trump has mastered the art of tapping into their racist beliefs, thereby convincing them that he’s one of them, when in fact, he’s never been one of them. He grew up…
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Unhinged Trump Holds Rally in Montana, Attacks #MeToo Movement in Rant About Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s Heritage
Donald Trump loves to rally. He may actually love rallying more than he loves KFC original recipe, being smacked on the ass with a rolled up Forbes magazine and watching migrant children being ripped from their families. Despite the fact that he’s already won the White House (with the help of Russian oligarchs), the president…