theory & essay
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So, Sanaa Lathan Has A Thing For a Cokeboy. Good For Her.
A few days ago, the internet, especially the Black quarters were aflame with disbelief and WTFness at the news that, yes, Sanaa Lathan was indeed dating Karim Kharbouch, aka French Montana. HAAANH! The jokes only flew from there with people questioning why such a refined, educated, well-to-do woman would date such an opposites attract specimen…
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How I Discovered And Fell In Love With Phyllis Hyman
I remember the first time I heard a Phyllis Hyman song. This was in March 2006 at my boy Tim’s condo. He’d turned his second bedroom into a makeshift studio and we did a lot of writing and producing in that room. At the time, he was the producer and I was just learning the…
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An Argument For Why We Need Five PTOWB (Paid Time Off While Black) Days A Year
If you’re Black and in America, there’s somewhere between a 100 percent and a 100 percent chance that the following has happened to you at least once. And somewhere between a 95 percent and 99 percent chance that it’s happened at least once this week. You’re minding your Black-ass business, living your Black-ass life. You…
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Jack Kelly Of The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette Is A Fucking Disgrace, And (Probably) Needs To Get Fired
A few months ago, I published a response to a strikingly tone deaf column from Eric Heyl of the Pittsburgh Tribune Review. In it, I stated that “Neighboring districts shy away from Wilkinsburg’s forbidden fruit” (Heyl’s column) was literally the worst major newspaper column I’d ever read. I (obviously) did not mince words then, but I also held back…
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I Write For A Living, And I Have The Shittiest Handwriting You'll Ever See, And I Don't Care
Between 10am and 10pm on Wednesday, I… …wrote 500 or so words on a rapper who calls himself “Slim Jesus”… …edited and published a piece about a guy who’s a lawyer and an aspiring rapper… …wrote up a ranking of types of pork… …wrote several hundred words about James Blake’s arrest… …wrote 700 or so…
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I'm 29, And I'm An Aspiring Rapper (I'm Also A Lawyer, But Don't Let That Stop You From Judging)
There’s a duality in a lot of the shit that we millenials are. I say “that” rather than “who” because, in the circles we run in, so much focus is on the action rather than the person. Five minutes into a conversation with my fellow urban professionals — you know, my brunch party goin’, #travelnoire…
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When Will They Stop Making These Boring-Ass Black People Who Obviously Hate Black People?
There is literally nothing — not The Strain, not Dwight Howard playing basketball — more boring, more tedious, and more cliche than the Black person who spends much of their internet time talking shit about “Black people” collectively in a way that lets you know they either don’t actually know very many actual Black people or just…
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How Come Nobody Cares About Boyz II Men Anymore?
There was a time in my life when I absolutely hated Boyz II Men’s “End Of The Road”. Not because it isn’t a good song – it is – but because I couldn’t go ANYWHERE in 1992 without hearing this song. Drunk white people were singing it on benders. Black dudes were blasting it from…
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Police Pull White Chick Over. She Gets Out and Dances To Future (and Drake). Lives.
In what can only be described as the PUREST form of white privilege available to date, a woman in Los Angeles stole a Ford Focus, led cops on a police chase, and when she rolled over a spike and blew out a tire, bringing an end to said chase… …she turnt up. To Future and…

