theory & essay
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Hey! Let's Talk About Vasectomies!
On this past Monday’s episode of Black Ink Crew – a show about a group of individuals who own and (many times horribly) operate a tattoo shop in Harlem – cast member O’Sh*t (this is literally his nickname), decides to get a vasectomy after thinking that he’d gotten a fourth woman pregnant after she showed…
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The New Negro And The Lost Art Of Shutting The Fuck Up
A few weeks ago, a reporter spotted one of Donald Trump’s “Make America Great Again” baseball caps in Tom Brady’s locker. I won’t derail this article by going on a rant about how their definition of when America was “great” was either when negroes were docile, or even better — slaves. I won’t even mention…
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Visions Of Pappyhood
It wasn’t always this way. Last year, I could scroll down my Facebook timeline past the cats-are-assholes videos and the fire-and-brimstone warnings against using people’s public content on a public site and not get tripped up by a video of a dancing, diaper-clad chocolatey wonder. I could walk down the street and not melt into…
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Six Foolproof And Effective Things To Do To Bring Atheists Back To The Lord
A few years ago, I told my mother, a Christian woman from Mississippi who had freshly aged into her 60s, that I was an atheist. She didn’t speak to me for three days straight. I should be clearer—I actually told her, as we waited at the window of an Arby’s drive-thru, that God didn’t have…
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That Time I Decided To Move To Los Angeles To Chase My Dreams
It was December 2014. A highly emotional and stressful year was met with a last punch to my gut when a significant friendship ended. I felt worthless, burdensome, insufficient, and abandoned. And, frankly, I was tired. I was tired of crying every day and every night, sneaking away to bathrooms to delete my cache of…
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Dear Howard Homecoming Weekend: I Hate You
It’s Howard University Homecoming this weekend, right? I think so. You’re not sure? No. I didn’t go to Howard and I don’t live in D.C., so I don’t have the Howard Homecoming dates tattooed on my chest. But you do think it’s happening this weekend. Why? Well, I do have multiple friends and followers on…
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A Recurring Dream About Lupita Nyong'o And I Standing In Line At An Omelet Station
It’s a Spring Sunday. April, perhaps. Mild enough for White people to wear sandals and yacht shorts and chilly enough to Black people for Black people to talk about White people for wearing sandals and yacht shorts. It’s 61 degrees. I’m at Sequoia in D.C.. Brunching by myself. Because I’m trying a new “brunch by yourself”…
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They Took Brooklyn And They Took R&B, But We Can't Let White People Take Shea Butter Too
If you were too busy watching Empire last week, you may have missed the story of the “Brooklyn Settler.” A bystander recorded a White fella getting into an altercation with another melanin impaired carpetbagger who apparently pushed a baby stroller into his legs. The Settler offered up some gems that Cortes, Columbus, or the much…
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20 Things I'm Convinced Taraji P Henson Would Do For You If She Were Your Homegirl
I fell in love with Taraji P. Henson when she played “I know who stole my car, Jody!” Yvette in Baby Boy. Her character was the perfect blend of attitude and vulnerability, while playing a woman who was doing the most to make her man ‘do right.’ Over the years, Taraji played a ton of…
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Exactly How Fired Would Jack Kelly Have Been If He Wrote About The Holocaust Instead Of Slavery?
Jack Kelly writes a weekly column at the Post-Gazette. His views are conservative and contribute to the diversity of opinion featured in our newspaper. We have liberal columnists, too, who, like Jack, are provocative and can stir up reaction by readers. Obviously, readers need to keep in mind that our signed columnists, liberal or conservative,…