president
-
President Trump Needs a New Black as Ben Carson Will Leave HUD at the End of the First Term
The president’s senior most black, Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson, is leaving the Trump administration at the end of Trump’s first term. “I will certainly finish out this term,” Carson told Newsmax’s John Gizzi, Monday. After Carson’s cryptic answer, Gizzi pressed him on whether he’d be interested in serving a second term to…
-
Trump's Big Sad That Micheal Cohen's Hearing Upstaged His Useless Summit in North Korea
President Trump admitted Sunday that he was big sad that the congressional testimony of his former fixer and body man, Michael Cohen, was part of the reason his useless talks with North Korea’s tiny dictator collapsed. According to The Washington Post, America was more interested in the dirt that Cohen had to share about the…
-
It’s Confirmed, President Trump Is a Damn Dotard
President Trump’s fixer Michael Cohen revealed to Congress that he strong-armed the prodigal con artist’s alma maters to make sure the “stable genuis”’ grades weren’t released because it would unequivocally confirm that the president is a goddamn idiot. In fact, Fordham University confirmed that Cohen threatened legal action should his successions of Fs be released.…
-
Trump Is Having a Rough Few Days
Poor Donald J. Trump. Not only did his former consigliere sit in front of Congress and call him a liar and a racist, but his bae-cation with side piece and leader of North Korea, Kim Jong Un, ended without an actual agreement. It must be hard being the president—especially a president who didn’t want to…
-
Michael Cohen Is Ready to Sing Like National Anthem Marvin Gaye, Will Give Up Dirty Details on Trump to Congress
The president’s former fixer and attorney Michael Cohen has reportedly asked for a half tux/half gown number to rival Billy Porter’s Oscar ensemble, because he’s about sing like a young Michael Jackson with the wide nose. Cohen is set to testify before Congress on Wednesday, and he’s supposed to be dropping his hits “Donald Trump…
-
Do the White Thing: Racist-In-Chief Calls Spike Lee’s Oscar Speech 'Racist Hit'
I believe that that there is someone on President KKKlansman’s staff whose job it is to bring him clips of news in which people mention or even vaguely allude to his name. Because I don’t believe that there are enough hours in the day, even for a president who spends most of his time ordering…
-
Black Campaign Staffer Files Lawsuit Alleging Trump Kissed Her Without Consent: Report
Former campaign staffer Alva Johnson claims that during Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign, as rumors were swirling of allegations that he’d sexually assaulted several women, the then-Republican nominee for the White House kissed her without her consent, a moment she calls “super-creepy and inappropriate.” Johnson told the Washington Post in an exclusive interview that during…
-
Trump Wanted Ally to Un-Recuse Himself So He Could Oversee Michael Cohen Investigation: Report
The relationship between President Trump and former acting Attorney General Matthew Whitaker soured late last year after the president sought to put an ally in charge of the investigation into hush money payments made by the president’s former lawyer to women claiming to have had affairs with Trump. The New York Times reports that Trump…
-
Bernie Sanders, the Method Man of Democrats, Is Running for President
Unfortunately, like wide-legged denim, choker necklaces and whooping cough, Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders is back. On Tuesday, America’s favorite Uber driver announced that he’s running for president in 2020 after suffering defeat to the insufferable Hillary Clinton in 2016. “I am asking you to join me today as part of an unprecedented and historic grassroots…
-
Trump Will Sign Spending Bill, Declare National Emergency Because He Can't Stand Losing
The president lost the wall. Despite billing himself as the great negotiator who will get the deals done, his strong-arm tactics proved ineffective, highly ineffective. The president drove the government into the longest standstill in American history, demanding full funding for his border wall. In the end, he not only got no funding for his…