MONDAY

SFC: Six Members of Family Die in Murder-Suicide

WP: Surprise, Surprise: Israeli Military Finds No Misconduct in Gaza War

FOX: White House Not Super Into Auto Industry Plan, Says 'Try Again'

NYT: Cholestrol Drug May Cut Risk of Clots; Not a License to Eat More Bacon

DS: Dallas Cop Apologizes to Moats (That Should Just About Square Things Up, Right?)

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TS: Why No GM Treatment for Wall Street? 30 to 1, Frank, 30 to 1

BET: CDC Reminds Us Salt Is Not Our Friend

J&J: Blacklisted: Health Insurance Still Not in the Business of Helping People

DB: Obama Screws Up Rotation, Decides to Pass on Legalizing Weed

Bossip: Given the Choice, You Should Take Jail Chris

AFP: Eight Killed In Nursing Home Attack

CNN: GM CEO Resigns ASAP for BHO; Buzz Response TBD

AJE: Never to Late to Get a Shoe: First Khmer Rouge Trial Begins

ESPN: Tiger at Bay Hill Says: Every 4th Quarter, I Like to Mike Jordan 'Em

USAT: Obama Heads Oversees to Tackle Global Economy, Separates Shoulder

BB: In Shocking About-Face, Treasurer Tim-Tim (tm) says Some Banks Need 'Large Amounts' of Assistance

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BET: Duffel Bag Boys Rejoice! NY to Reform Rockefeller Drug Laws

DB: Looking to Go 0 for 3 Against the Good Guys, Germany Plans to Oppose Global Stimulus

Politico: Never One to Miss Out on Black Appropriation, Europe Just Giddy Over First Lady's Arrival

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BAW: Minor Arrested for Posting Nude Pics; Asks to Stay in Clink When Mom Arrives at Station

TUESDAY

BBC: Iran, US Have 'Cordial' Chit-Chat; Exchange Baby Pics, Nuclear Schematics

UPI: British Hand Over Basra Command to US, Don't Let Door Hit Behind on Way Out

AP: Netanyahu Wants 'Full Peace'; Says 'We Can Do This the Easy Way or the Easier Way'

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LAT: 200 Migrants Feared Drowned in Mediterranean

Reuters: Record Drop in Home Prices Continue; Market Looking for a Tip Drill

CNN: Ford, GM Get Their Keith Sweat On, Offer Incentives to Boost Sales

ABC: US Struggling Economically and People Like Us More (Hmmm…)

BET: Oprah's School Faces New Sex Scandal, Whether She'll Interview Herself Unknown

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ESPN: Plaxico Gun Case in June; With Dead Horse Beaten Sufficiently, Buzz Remains Silent

Bossip: Ever the Gentleman, Diddy Will Be Cassie's Prom Date, Let Her Wear Varsity Jacket*

BET: Man Fatally Stabs Sister, Then Beheads 5-Year-Old Sister

Reuters: Lonely at the Bottom, Americans Applaud Obama Chin-Checking Auto Industry

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USAT: Under a Third of Men at Black Colleges Earn Degree in Six Years; Really Not Funny In Any Way

AP: Congressional Black Caucus Rails for Diversity in Bailouts; Politicians Say 'Hey, You Got Your One!'

WebMD: 5-in-1 Pill May Prevent Heart Disease, Open Canned Goods

WP: Nut Community Hit Hard Again As Pistachio Falls to Salmonella Fever**

AFP: Netanyahu to Be Sworn In As Israeli PM; Palestine, for One, Is Thrilled

AJE: Arabs Leaders Opt Not to Arrest Bashir; Ask 'Why Ruin the Doha Vibe, Ya Know?'

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AP: White Pro-Civil Rights Journalist Honored (The Buzz Smells An Oscars…)

ESPN: Louisville Women Reach Their First Final Four, In Running to Lose to UCONN

*If you find out The Buzz got beaten with champagne bottles, see Sean Combs first.

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**We realize a peanut technically isn't a nut, but it was too choice to throw away.

WEDNESDAY

Reuters: Taliban Spokesmen Say the Darnedest Things!

WFAA: Police Misconduct Is for Quitters: Officer in Moats Incident Resigns

ABC: Rio Plans to Wall in Slums, US: "Just Call it a 'Housing Project' and You're Set"

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USAT: Calipari: ' I Do Not Walk On Water', Leaving Feat to Obama, Jesus

The Job: Conservation Can Be Deadly!

J&J: Jack and Jill Went Down a Hill to Reform the Rockefeller Drug Laws

TH: The Nation's Problem Is Immorality. Hm. Thanks for clearing that up.

CNN: Clever Office Pranks (to Take Your Mind Off the Fact Your Job Makes You Sad)

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FOX: US, Russian Will Reduce Number of Nukes (Not the Ones Being Kept Secret of Course)

BBC: Not Even Nice Rich People Pay Taxes: Another Nominee Has Tax Troubles

AJE: Regional Bloc Suspends Madagascar, Says Saturday Morning Detention 'Not Doing the Trick'

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ABC: Black Folks Still Can't Get Cabs?! Obama Needs to Get on His J-O!

AP: Pardon Sought for 1st Black Heavyweight Champ; Buzz Wonders "Why the Mass Assuaging of Guilt?"

BBC: Without Conficker Worm to Worry About, Everything Right in the World. Everything.

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ESPN: Cleveland LeBrons Evade Pistons for 13th Straight Win

RS: Weezy Abandons Rap, Mos Def Anticipates Company in "We Shouldn't Have Done That" Crew

BET: Andre 3000 Tossed in the Clink; Says it Smells Like 'Boo-Booooo'

THR: Wanda Sykes Gets Show, Might Not Join David Alan and DL in Breadline

THURSDAY

WP: Blago Expected to Be Indicted Today (Did You Hear that Roland?)

CNN: Michelle Obama Hugs Queen, (White) People Freak Out

Reuters: Sarkozy Gives G20 Presser, Asked If Obama Hug Freaked Him Out Too

BBC: G20 Seals $1T Deal; Media Asks, "No, But for Real, Did You See That Hug"?

NYT: China Looks to Own Electric Car Game; US Wonders 'Any Interest in GM Stock'?

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AJE: Mexico Arrests Wanted Drug Suspect; 1 Down, 3748293748293 to Go

BET: NY Eateries Don't Want Black Staff, Mention "But We Totally Voted for Obama"

BS: A Tome on Working That Should Probably Be Shorter But Is OK Written By a Black Dude

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CK: Someone Keeps It Real About Madame Cray-Cray's 'ANTM' Debacle

PCM: Twitter Reworks Search Feature, Twittered Fact Long Before This Posting

WSJ: G20 Looks to Raise a Trilli for the IMF, Says It's Easier to Give Dough to Acronyms

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NYT: Palestinian Kills Kid in West Bank with Ax; Netanyahu to Go Kuffiyeh Slapping*

AJE: Zimbabwe's Prisons 'Death Camps', Says 'It's Africa. We Figured No One Else Would Notice'

AP: House, Senate Poised to Adopt Pared-Down Budget; GOP in Lab Trying to Stir Reagan

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Forbes: Gene Mutation Doubles Risk of Colon Cancer in Blacks

NYDN: CBS Cancels 'Guiding Light'; Your Grandmama and 'Em Devastated

ESPN: Negative YAC: Donte' Stallworth Charged with Manslaughter, DUI

DB: Hollywood Slashing Salaries; Buzz Only Got $200K for 'Do the Right Thing II: Radio's Revenge'

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BET: Recalling She Was Indeed Mollywhopped, Rihanna Continues Cooperating with D.A.

CNN: Obama's Aunt 'Knows People', Gets Reprieve in Asylum Case

*And he should.

FRIDAY

CNN: Casualties, Up to 40 Hostages in Upstate New York Siege

AP: Jobless Rate at 8.5%; 91.5% of America Real Shook Right Now

American Prospect: Terence Samuel Discusses New $1T Man, the IMF; Ted DiBiase Jealous

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AJE: Sarkozy Rejects Obama's Afghan Plan, Forgets French Could Have Been His 2nd Language

NYT: Iowa Courts Lifting Ban on Gay Marriage Good; Being Located in Iowa? Not So Good

TRB: Ryan Westen's Satire FAIL

AP: Madonna's Hypnosis Through Voguing Fails, Malawi Courts Reject Adoption Request

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CK: The Buzz Could Be Mad at This, But to Do So Would Be to Hate Freedom

J&J: The Dutch Pass Themselves to the Left Hand Side Regarding Slavery

CNN: Obama Budget Passed; Prez Say "Y'all Musta Forgot…"

LAT: Blago Gets Indicted, Charges Include 'Treacherous Coiffing'

FOX: Google Close to Acquiring Twitter (RT@TheRootBuzz)

NYT: His Excellency Mayor for Life Bloomberg Likes Black People (Votes)

BBC: Crikey! Australia Backs Rights of People Who Rightfully Own the Land Anyway

AJE: BHO to Show NATO Afghan Intinerary; NATO Wonders How Many Are in His Party*

BET: Report Details 'Abuse' in St. Louis Jails; Possible Link to St. Lunatics Album

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ESPN: Cutler Traded to Bears, Vows to Continue Not Winning Anything in Particular

THR: It's Hard Out There for a Pip: Gladys Knight Joins Cast of Tyler Perry Flick

USAT: Cigarette Prices Soar; Dave Chappelle Right: These Are Crack Prices

*If you get that one, you know The Buzz very well.

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