Stormy Daniels Arrested for Doing Stripper Things as a Stripper Inside a Strip Club

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President Trump’s non-Russian side bae, Stormy Daniels, was arrested and charged with three misdemeanors for reportedly touching guests who turned out to be undercover officers, who either believed they were at a Hot Shoppes buffet and didn’t understand why a naked woman was dancing or don’t know how to appreciate great customer service at a strip club.


Seriously, these obvious Trump supporters arrested a stripper for touching them in a strip club, where most strip club patrons consider that a come-up.

According to the New York Times, Daniels, who was born Stephanie Clifford, was twerkalating in a Columbus, Ohio, dancery when she reportedly touched customers who turned out to be undercover vice officers.

Daniels was arrested and charged with three counts of illegal sexually oriented activity, according to the arrest report viewed by the Times. Daniels was originally scheduled to perform both Wednesday and Thursday at the Sirens Gentlemen’s Club in northeastern Columbus, but told fans that there will be no second show because some Trump-supporting cops won’t let her live.

Daniels made national news after she came forward to give all the dirty details of her alleged affair with the president, which included smacking his untanned buttocks with a rolled Forbes magazine and an alleged $130,000 payoff by Trump’s personal fixer, Michael Cohen.

Daniels was released Thursday after posting bail. According to the police officers’ account of what happened, Stormy was bringing the rain during a topless dance in which she pressed customers’ faces against her executive-level, top-security clearance breasts and reportedly touched some female patrons’ regular-civilian breasts. She allegedly did the same with the group of officers and reportedly touched one of the men’s buttocks, which was a bridge too far. The cops had had enough and for the safety of everyone inside the strip club, they arrested Daniels and made America great again.


Apparently, Ohio has a law that makes it illegal for anyone who is “nude or semi-nude” and working in a strip club to touch or be touched by a patron who’s not an immediate family member. The charges, which can range from first- to fourth-degree misdemeanor, depend on which body part was touched, the Times reports.

I have so many questions, starting with why Ohio is fine with a family member being in a strip club touching ... you know what, I can’t. I tried, but I can’t.


Daniels’ lawyer Michael Avenatti obviously believes that the move was a targeted attack against his client.

“So there are undercover vice officers that came to the club for the purpose of trying to get her to touch them so that they could then arrest her, which is ludicrous,” Avenatti told the Times.


“My understanding is that a number of undercover officers were female, which was not unusual to my client because a huge number of women are turning out to see her shows,” he said. “And a couple of officers asked her to allow them to place their face in between her breasts.

“I am not going to comment on what transpired after that,” he continued to the Times. “I think that this is one of the poorest uses of law enforcement resources I believe I have ever heard of in my lifetime.”


Daniels is scheduled to be arraigned Franklin County Municipal Court at 9 a.m. Friday.



Avenatti really is a pro at keeping his client in the news. She’s a seasoned performer, and she knows what she’s doing. There is approximately a zero percent chance she was not aware of local laws regarding allowable behavior.

So they spend $6k on bail and pay whatever fines they need to for a handful of misdemeanor charges, and in exchange they get all-day fauxrage news coverage.

Sweet deal.