#StabbyGabby Spits, Slaps, Screams N-Word and Pulls Knife on Black Family Over Parking Space

Screenshot: Facebook (Enora Lynne)

A woman was caught on video screaming the n-word and pulling a knife on a black family in an Oregon parking lot, perfectly encapsulating white America’s shenanigans in 2018.

On Dec. 24, 20-year-old Emora Roberson captured rare footage of what is either an irate racist albino ferret or a quickly decomposing white woman in the early stages of turning into a White Walker. Roberson was in a car with her 15-month-old daughter, her boyfriend and an aunt doing some last-minute Christmas shopping when the stage 1 zombie pulled up next to the family at a McMinnville, Ore. Dominos pizza.

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Clad in a camouflage jacket, track pants with two stripes, wraparound sunglasses and dingy white shoes only worn by nursing assistants, church ushers and senior citizens who exercise by walking laps at the mall—the official uniform of people who want to make America great—the soggy saltine woman pulled up next to the family in a handicapped parking spot, obviously qualified by a tooth count that appeared to be in the low-to-mid teens.

Oregon Live reports:

According to Roberson, the enraged woman slapped and spit on her boyfriend, Keysuan Goodyear. Goodyear grew angry and warned the woman about her behavior and language.

The woman responded by whipping out a knife.

That’s when Roberson said she began filming the incident on her phone.

“This bitch is really trying to stab him,” Roberson comments as the enraged meerkat holds a knife in clear view.

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“It’s called self-defense, you stupid nigger butch” Tammy Two-Teeth responds before slamming the car door on Roberson.

Roberson’s boyfriend tells Debbie No-Dentist, who looks like a french fry at the bottom of the McDonald’s bag, to stay away but his girlfriend warns him that they are in McMinnville. I don’t know where McMinnville is, exactly. But from the name alone, it sounds like a place where the sheriff wears a cowboy hat and black people know to “stay in their place.”

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“It’s not worth it today,” she warns her boyfriend. “We’re in a white-ass town.”

“We eventually drove off. We still had Christmas shopping to do,” Roberson told Oregon Live. “My daughter woke up and was crying her head off.”

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Roberson said she contacted the local police department and alerted them that either Kellyanne Conway had left the Trump administration for a career on the lucrative meth-smoking circuit, or there was a racist woman on the loose who had possibly bankrupted the Tooth Fairy.

On Saturday, KPTV announced that they arrested 39-year-old Amber Rocco for the incident and charged her with intimidation, unlawful use of a weapon, harassment and menacing. Her bail was set at $55,000 but I’m not sure if they have the right person. There’s no way the woman in that video is 39 unless they are counting in possum years.

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I really hope they catch the real offender before she actually stabs a victim or bites someone and turns more people into Zorro-zombies. I don’t want to tell the cops how to do their job but I’m betting they could catch the actual suspect tomorrow if they just staked out convenience stores that sell Pall Mall cigarettes.

I also don’t like to stereotype but I’m betting the woman’s in the video’s name is not Amber. Most Ambers have twenty-plus teeth. The woman in the video looks like a Gretchen. If not, I’m betting on a hybrid name like SueEllen or MaryLou. But probably Gretchen.

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Free Amber Rocco.

She has a dental appointment tomorrow...

I hope.

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Michael Harriot

World-renowned wypipologist. Getter and doer of "it." Never reneged, never will. Last real negus alive.