Sean ‘Spicy Facts’ Spicer Checks Staff Cellphones Trying to Find Leak; That News Is Then Promptly Leaked

Aaron P. Bernstein/Getty Images
Aaron P. Bernstein/Getty Images

Since the FBI won’t do the White House’s dirty work, it looks like White House press secretary Sean “Spicy Facts” Spicer is going full Encyclopedia Brown all on his own.


Spicy Facts has reportedly sought random phone checks of White House staff to see if they can snuff out who’s been leaking information to the press.

According to Politico, Spicy Facts became upset after information shared in a meeting with about a dozen staffers was leaked to the press. Spicy Facts then called another meeting to bitch about news reports that were unflattering to the White House and that included info shared at the previous meeting. Staffers were reportedly told to leave their phones on a desk for a “phone check” during what has been described as an emergency meeting. The phone checks were reportedly overseen by White House attorneys.

At the meeting, Spicy Facts emphatically warned staffers that they shouldn’t be worried if they had nothing to hide and then acted like an enraged, jealous ex who knows his lover is cheating.

According to Politico, “The phone checks included whatever electronics staffers were carrying when they were summoned to the unexpected follow-up meeting, including government-issued and personal cellphones.”

Spicy Facts also vaguely threatened the group that there would be more problems should leaks continue, and because no one, including White House staff, gives a shit about anything Spicy Facts has to say, they leaked the meeting about the leaks.

The White House has reportedly grown tired of news stories that appear to accurately portray the Trump administration as a complete disaster, and staffers have become tense and are now worried that firings are on the horizon.


“In general,” one senior administration official told Politico, “there is a lot of insecurity.”

Read more at Politico.



This administration could fuck up a two-car funeral.