I’m convinced that Russell Wilson is not human. I don’t watch football, but I do watch SportsCenter and at this point, I’m waiting for the Seattle Seahawks quarterback video clip that shows him getting sacked and all of his computer wires getting exposed. Or, I’m waiting for Alfonso Ribeiro to escape from the subway basement to confront the tether-Wilson about stealing his life.
Because no man is this goddamn nice.
At this point, Russell Wilson is every guy in every black movie that isn’t the guy that the lead is married too. He’s the guy that every mom encourages their daughter to date because he comes from a good family and goes to church. He’s supposed to be hated because the way that the universe works, nice guys aren’t supposed to be dunking on rappers with in-bed videos about ballinggggg!
Wilson is supposed to be a loser, except he’s winning ... in life!
He’s not only married singer Ciara, but he’s allegedly told her ex-rapper baby father that he can keep his child support for his son that Wilson is helping to raise. He not only signed one of the biggest contracts in NFL history, but he’s the highest paid player in the NFL and walked away with a $65 million signing bonus.
And, because Wilson wasn’t done making the rest of us men look at our game wondering how we can step it up, he purchased his mom a beautiful house for Mother’s Day.
And the proof that Wilson is really a great guy is his mother’s genuine reaction to receiving a new home from her son that can’t stop making the rest of us men look bad. In fact, my all of my mom’s Mother’s Day cards are going to say, “I know I’m not Russell Wilson but ...” I hope you enjoy this air fryer.
“All these years you have never asked me for anything ... only thing you ever wanted is for me to LOVE. Well thanks for loving us the way you do. This one’s for you. I love you momma,” Wilson wrote on Instagram.
Oh, and if all of this wasn’t enough, Ciara Wilson debuted her video “Beauty Marks” on The View, which is basically a montage of never-before-seen footage of personal moments with Wilson, including their wedding and the birth of their daughter. There’s also footage of a shirtless Wilson saving a homeless cat and then raising that cat to become a lion and then releasing that wild cat into an African forest and learning later that the lion was killed by his jealous brother and Wilson must go rescue the lion’s son to teach the little lion how to avenge his father’s death. Or, maybe that was The Lion King. I get Simba and Wilson confused.
Anyway, Wilson even surprised Ciara with a personal Mother’s Day message in which he spoke about how grateful he is to be her husband. Ciara couldn’t stop crying. Hell, Wilson almost made me cry. Watch the beautiful moment below and just know ladies, that there is only one Russell Wilson. And he’s married to Ciara.
I hope you enjoy this waffle maker.