Rex Tillerson Calls the President a Dumbass. Trump Calls Tillerson a Lazy Bitch

Rex Tillerson delivers remarks after being sworn in as 69th secretary of state as President Donald Trump looks on beneath a painting of populist President Andrew Jackson in the Oval Office of the White House on February 1, 2017 in Washington, DC. Tillerson was confirmed by the Senate earlier in the day in a 56-43 vote.
Photo: Michael Reynolds (Getty Images)

The first-world fuss fight between President Bull Shannon and his former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson continues as Tillerson noted that President Kelly Bundy is, in fact, an idiot.

What was actually missed from Tillerson’s rare public appearance during a fundraiser for the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center on Thursday, was that he believes that Russia absolutely interfered with the 2016 U.S. elections


“What Russia wants to do is undermine our confidence and undermine the world’s confidence in us,” Tillerson said, according to the Houston Chronicle. Tillerson also noted that President Mallory Keaton’s significant other, Vladimir Putin, is a “very calculating” and “very opportunistic” leader. Tillerson added that Putin’s strategy—much like Brain from Pinky and the Brain—is world domination.

“Many people talk about playing chess. He plays three-dimensional chess,” Tillerson said.

What the fuck is three-dimensional chess? Turns out it’s a real thing and it’s really fucking stupid.

You know that President Woody Boyd wasn’t going to take that shit laying down. Well, he probably did take it laying down since news of Tillerson’s remarks reached the White House in between a showing of a cartoon version of the original 1915 silent film The Birth of a Nation and prank calling former Mexican president Vincente Fox.


He tweeted:



President Rose Nyland literally just called his former Secretary of State a lazy bitch who was dumb as a rock! These tweets are actually going to stored somewhere and when generations look back they will remember this as arguably the lowest point in presidential history.


I guess it doesn’t matter that as long as Tillerson was willing to do his bidding and was more than qualified for the position before he and President Michael Scott fell out after Tillerson called him a moron, which he totally admits to now.

I guess the president doesn’t care that Tillerson saved his ass; this is, of course, coming from the man who claimed: “When the president would say, ‘Here’s what I want to do, and here’s how I want to do it,’ and I’d have to say to him, ‘Well, Mr. President, I understand what you want to do but you can’t do it that way. It violates the law, it violates the treaty, you know,’” Politico reports.


“I didn’t know how to conduct my affairs with him any other way than in a very straightforward fashion. And I think he grew tired of me being the guy every day that told him, ‘You can’t do that, and let’s talk about what we can do.’”

In short, fuck both these guys but I do hope that they keep this same energy when and if they run into each other as there is nothing funnier than two old windbags fighting.


Footage of fight between Tillerson and President Chrissy Snow below:

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About the author

Stephen A. Crockett Jr.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.