Republicans’ Black Friend Tim Scott: 'Woke Supremacy as Bad as White Supremacy'

Illustration for article titled Republicans’ Black Friend Tim Scott: 'Woke Supremacy as Bad as White Supremacy'
Photo: Bonnie Cash (Getty Images)

Not all Black people are Black folks.

Black people will tell you that they are headed to the Food and Liquor Emporium.

Blacks folks go to “da sto.”

Black people drop by unannounced.

Black folks drop “down and get their eagle on; “that thun thun thun” and “it, like it’s hot.”

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Black people use cajun spice.

Black folks use cajun sparkle.

South Carolina Sen. Tim Scott (R) is a Black personhe’s not Black folk.

As such, Scott allows himself to be the Black mascot who Republicans trot out whenever they are accused of racism. He’s the Black friend all Republicans list on applications when asked if they know anyone Black. He’s the person who everyone asks during white freaknik, aka the Conservative Political Action Conference, to lead the Electric Slide.

So during some weird-ass news segment on Fox News, aka Republican OnlyFans, former Congressman Trey Gowdy went on some rant about Scott being a man who can stand wherever the hell he likes, or some shit, I don’t know what he said because Trey Gowdy sounds like a Southern slave owner and I don’t listen to people who sound like that. Apparently, Gowdy was responding to MSNBC’s Joy Reid (certified Black folk) who said Sen. Scott provided a “patina of diversity” for the GOP, implying that Tim Scott is the token nigga in the Republican ranks.

Let me crunch some numbers, round some ones, move some decimal points so that I can get the full number of Black Republican senators.

There is currently one Black Republican senator: Tim Scott.

Also, nothing says I am a Black person like having Trey Gowdy vouch for you against the card-carrying Black folk for life, Joy Reid.

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Anyway, Scott did his whole “I love you white man” laugh that Black people who love racist white men do. You know that laugh that sounds like they are trying to say a word like “Kerfuffle” and then out of nowhere, Scott leads with “...and let me just say ‘woke supremacy’ is as bad as ‘white supremacy’”

Umm, nigga what?

First of all, woke supremacy isn’t a thing. This is another one of those Republican talking points in which they created or co-opted a phrase to make them feel oppressed. Like “cancel culture” or “seasoning” or “wash clothes.”

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To this day I don’t believe that woke supremacy has ever been responsible for redlining, discrimination, and President Trump but you know what has? White supremacy and Scott knows this. Or he knew it but maybe he lost it when he shaved his head bald so that all of the white men in Congress can rub and pat it when they tell him to sit.

If you really want to see Scott continue to move the race back, Google it, as that shit happened on Republican X-rated videos, and we don’t link to porn on this site.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

DISCUSSION

mr-ducksauce
Mr.DuckSauce

I’m waiting until he becomes the next candice owens.