Real White Housewives Episode Recap: Trump Wants Former Fixer Michael Cohen In All the Prisons

Illustration for article titled Real White Housewives Episode Recap: Trump Wants Former Fixer Michael Cohen In All the Prisons
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On the last episode of the Real White Housewives the president’s former fixer Michael Cohen, whose tagline is “Go get you some hot water, cause you know I’ve got all the tea!” had agreed to cooperate in special prosecutor Robert Mueller’s investigation into all things Russia.


Live footage of Cohen flipping:

President Trump, whose tagline is “Russia? But I barely know her,” wants Cohen to go to jail forever, noting that he should “serve a full and complete sentence” for the “TERRIBLE, unrelated to Trump” crimes he’s pleaded guilty to.

The New York Daily News reports:

In August, Cohen confessed to federal charges of tax fraud, false bank statements and campaign finance violations related to hush-money payments made on behalf of the President. Last week, pleaded to an addition charge of lying to Congress regarding his involvement in a plan to build a Trump Tower in Moscow and his communication with the Kremlin.

The attorneys cited threats against the President’s former-fixer since he agreed to cooperate with special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian hacking of the 2016 presidential election as a reason for the judge to go easy.

Cohen’s lawyers were pushing for no jail time for their client all the while trying to paint him as some kind of upstanding guy.

“In the context of this raw, full-bore attack by the most powerful person in the United States, Michael, formerly a confidante and adviser to Mr. Trump, resolved to cooperate, and voluntarily took the first steps toward doing so even before he was charged,” read the sentencing memorandum filed by his attorneys, The Daily News reports.


“And he acted knowing that the result would be personal attacks on his by the president, a bevy of advisers and public relations specialists, and political supporters of the president.”

President Petty, who was once reportedly considering pardoning Cohen (or at least that’s what Cohen was hoping for), continued his mob-like antics for anyone that goes against him tweeting, Monday:


Cohen is expected to be sentenced on Dec. 12.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


Downton Flabby (the movie)

Also, part of that same shit-tweet-storm:

And in case you’re wondering, that’s Kellyanne Conway’s husband taking a jab at her boss.