Racists Invite Themselves to the Cookout

Illustration for article titled Racists Invite Themselves to the Cookout
Screenshot: Twitter (@aidannbaker)

Aside from a lack of barbecue-based plate-fixing protocol, a group of anti-seasoning activists infiltrated a college’s virtual event by showing up in blackface, bearing a Nazi flag and—worst of all—not even bringing a roll of aluminum foil to a cookout hosted by South Carolina students.

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This is why we kneel. (Not in protest. We just pray to fish fry Jesus that we don’t run across one of these racists in person.)

On Friday, the University of South Carolina’s African American Association of Students attempted to adhere to the school’s social distancing directive by taking their annual cookout to the internet. The organization posted the invitation and the meeting code online, hoping to inform students who might miss the yearly event.

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Of course, the racists showed up.

“In the midst of a pandemic, @AAAS_1968 attempted to host it’s annual end of the year Cookout via Zoom,” wrote Mike Parker on Twitter. “During the celebration, students were interrupted by a group of white students who were dressed sin black face, yelled racist remarks, and posted derogatory backgrounds.”

Around 6:50 p.m., a few unseasoned entered the Zoom chat and bombarded the students with insults, images of a Nazi flag and blackface selfies. Although The Root could not confirm that the sinister cowards had mistaken the Zoom room for a University of Virginia yearbook photo session, tweets of the session indicate that AAAS students were appalled at the interruptors, who obviously belong to the Association with Saltine Supremacy (ASS).

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While the cookout colonizers have not been identified, administrators and student organizers have expressed their disgust at the racists. AAAS’s official Twitter said they were “completely disgusted by what appeared to be a final exam for a White History majors. Meanwhile, University of South Carolina President Bob Caslen said the school was “investigating” the incident.

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I’m glad there is an investigation going on. How dare anyone just show up uninvited without even a 12-pack of Faygo sodas or even a sleeve of Solo cups? Did they even bring ice? I bet these bastards even put their hands in the ice and fixed a plate with more than their allotted share of deviled eggs!

Oh yeah, the racism thing was kinda bad, too.

But, to be fair, as a South Carolina native who lived in Columbia and lectured at this institution, I can’t say I was surprised. The Root recently reported on someone posting signs outside the school’s African American Studies office with the uplifting MLK Day message: “YOU STUPID MONKEYS handed Trump the White House the minute you handed Hillary the nomination.” Then there was the student who blamed “niggers” for slowing the campus internet speed.

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Also, it’s South Carolina.

Although I have been routinely cited for starting and perpetuating the “invited to the cookout” narrative that excludes well-meaning Caucasians, the Black Legislative American Cookout Council (BLACC) joined with the Partnership for Eating at Outside Parties and Lawn Events (PEOPLE) in a joint statement that read:

Told y’all.”

World-renowned wypipologist. Getter and doer of "it." Never reneged, never will. Last real negus alive.

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They really, truly have absolutely nothing better to do. It’s totally not fucking pathetic at all!

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