Politics
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Trump Unveils His Genius Plan to Offer DACA & TPS Protections in Exchange for His Non-Sensical Border Wall
As children, we learned the art of negotiation early in life. “You want me to quit crying? Change this diaper, fix me a bottle, and help me get these burps out, nigga.” Or: “I won’t tell Daddy about that white man I saw crawling out the window if you buy me a Sega Genesis.” But…
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Nancy Pelosi's Trip Cancelled After Leak Exposes Exact Travel Schedule Causing Security Risks
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s was all set to make a trip to Afghanistan until President Petty decided to out her travel plans and, in turn, forced her to shut the trip down because he went public making Pelosi’s trip too dangerous. On Thursday—surely a retaliation effort for Pelosi suggesting that President Richard Pettibone should memorize…
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I Don’t Care What Y’all Say, If Buzzfeed Brings Down President Trump, I’m Inviting Them To The Cookout [Updated]
If BuzzFeed’s report that the president told his former lawyer and fixer to lie to Congress about the Moscow Tower turns out to be true and brings down the president, this will be the biggest moment in American history. Therefore, I’m formally requesting that we take a vote to extend one conditional cookout invitation to…
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On This Episode of The Real White Housewives, President Petty Cancels Nancy Pelosi's Foreign Travel
When Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) sent the president a note telling him to stick his State of the Union speech in a bottle and throw that shit in the Potomac, she had to expect that something was coming. The president has shown that he doesn’t play kindly when people put him in…
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Watch: Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the 'Mother of Dragging,' Flames Trump in Her First Floor Speech
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of the House of Congress, The Unscathed, Queen of the Bronx, Torcher of Twitter, Breaker of Boat Shoes, and Mother of Dragging, just made her inaugural speech on the House floor and torched President Trump over his ongoing government shutdown to get money for the wall that Mexico was supposed to pay…
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Michael Cohen Paid to Rig Polls for Trump and the President Still Didn't Make The Top 100
While many media outlets continue to refer to President Donald Trump’s former attorney Michael Cohen as a fixer, it is becoming increasingly apparent that Cohen couldn’t fix shit. Everything Cohen allegedly “fixed”—including Stormy Daniels payment, the Russian real estate deals and his entire presidential partnership with silent partner Vladimir Putin—remains decidedly broken. And, like his…
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Rudy Giuliani Is a Terrible Lawyer Who Can't Stop Putting His Foot In His Mouth and It's Actually Great For the President
Rudy Giuliani, President Donald Trump’s personal attorney, is an idiot and that’s a good thing for Trump, because Rudy, who once was married to his cousin that he fully knew was his cousin, helps make the president look less dumb. Rudy’s job since signing on to work with the president has basically been to go…
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We Thought Beto O’Rourke Was Cool Until We Found Out He Voted for Anti-Black Lives Matter Legislation
During the 2018 midterm elections, Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke quickly became a favorite even among those who couldn’t legally vote for him in his Senate race because they didn’t live in the state of Texas. The former representative of Texas’s 16th Congressional District did everything right. He opposed the death penalty. He spoke in defense…
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Is Donald Trump Blackmailing Senator Lindsey Graham?
Is Donald Trump Lindsey Graham’s personal Vladimir Putin? Although there might not be a pee tape, many have wondered how John McCain’s best friend, who often acted like a maverick by regularly eschewing the Republican ethos, did a complete 180 and became Donald Trump’s mouthpiece. MSNBC anchor Stephanie Ruhle speculated without proof that President Trump…
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President Silent on Steve King; Don Lemon Wonders if Y’all Noticed All the Racist Shit Trump Did Before
Pundits continue to point to a sense of reason Trump supporters have shown us time and time again does not exist and Don Lemon is sick and tired of the bullshit. On CNN, Lemon and Chris Cuomo discussed Trump’s loud silence on comments made by Iowa Rep. Steve King—but more than that, Lemon really dug…