Politics
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Don't Worry, Y'all. I Solved America's Problems. It's Pizza
Politics, man. If you’re like me and you spend most of your day with your eyes open and in something slightly past a semi-conscious state, you recognize that America is currently facing an era of political discord and polarization unseen since the 1960s, or maybe the Gilded Age, or maybe even the Civil War. We’ve…
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Trump's Wall Tantrum Has the FBI Strapped for Cash
Seemingly lost in the circus surrounding the partial government shutdown, now into the early days of its second month, has been its impact on national security. Trump, while holding out for his $5.7 billion border blinders, has halted the day-to-day operations of the agencies and individuals that protect American lives and interests beyond the proposed…
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Is President Willy Wonka Trying to Reopen the Government Chocolate Factory?
Dueling proposals (read, dicks) are going to be voted on this Thursday as the white men controlling the rest of the planet have reached some sort of agreement that might allow government black folks back to work. From the Hill Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) set up two votes for Thursday afternoon, both of…
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Trump Told Sarah ‘Suckabee’ Sanders to Stop Holding Briefings Because the Press Pushes Back on Her Lies
If you’ve been wondering why it’s been a while since Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka “Suckabee” aka “The Devil’s Mouthpiece,” hasn’t held a press briefing in a while, well it’s because President Trump doesn’t like the way that she’s treated. You read that right. How she is treated. To be fair, she’s treated like a press…
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Justin Fairfax, The King of Confederate Shade, Shuts Down 100-Year Tribute to American Traitors
Most politicians don’t really understand power. Oh, they may talk about power, they may use power, they may even think they are powerful. But from the local county auditor to even the president of the United States, the meaning of true power eludes them. Justin Fairfax, Lt. Governor of the blue state of Virginia, is…
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Supreme Court Allows Trump's Transgender Military Ban to Go Into Effect
On Tuesday, the U.S. Supreme Court decided to enforce President Trump’s policy on barring certain transgender people from joining or staying in the military as justices put lower court rulings, which blocked the plan, on hold. Thanks to the conservative-leaning majority (looking at you, Brett “I like beer. I still like beer” Kavanuagh) what started…
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Rudy Giuliani: Where Am I and Why Am I in This Hand Basket?
President Trump’s personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, continues to do the work of the people by seriously mangling just about everything he touches. At this point, Giuliani is going to beat special counsel Robert Mueller to the punch and announce on primetime television that the president colluded with Russia to steal the 2016 presidential election. I…
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Four Volunteers Convicted for Leaving Food and Water Near Border as Four More Await Trial
Four of the nine volunteers working with the aid group No More Deaths are set to stand trial over exhibiting common decency to migrants near the U.S.-Mexico border. After four workers were convicted of misdemeanor charges for leaving food and water for migrants crossing in 2017, four more are set to stand trial over similar…
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She's Running! Kamala Harris Announces Run for the Presidency on Good Morning America
Sitting calmly on the set of ABC’s Good Morning America with Robin Roberts and George Stephanopoulos, Senator Kamala Harris announced she is running for the Democratic nomination for president of the United States this Monday. There was an audible cheer from someone behind the cameras the moment Harris said the words which caused the entire…
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For the 2nd Year in a Row, Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax Wants No Parts of Tribute to Confederate Superhero Robert E. Lee
For the second year in a row, Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax left the dais in silent protest while Virginia state senators honored Confederate superhero Gen. Robert E. Lee. What makes Lee a superhero? He ardently “defended a system of human bondage in which more than three million souls were denied the most basic liberties”. He…