Politics
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Rudy Giuliani: Where Am I and Why Am I in This Hand Basket?
President Trump’s personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, continues to do the work of the people by seriously mangling just about everything he touches. At this point, Giuliani is going to beat special counsel Robert Mueller to the punch and announce on primetime television that the president colluded with Russia to steal the 2016 presidential election. I…
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Four Volunteers Convicted for Leaving Food and Water Near Border as Four More Await Trial
Four of the nine volunteers working with the aid group No More Deaths are set to stand trial over exhibiting common decency to migrants near the U.S.-Mexico border. After four workers were convicted of misdemeanor charges for leaving food and water for migrants crossing in 2017, four more are set to stand trial over similar…
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She's Running! Kamala Harris Announces Run for the Presidency on Good Morning America
Sitting calmly on the set of ABC’s Good Morning America with Robin Roberts and George Stephanopoulos, Senator Kamala Harris announced she is running for the Democratic nomination for president of the United States this Monday. There was an audible cheer from someone behind the cameras the moment Harris said the words which caused the entire…
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For the 2nd Year in a Row, Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax Wants No Parts of Tribute to Confederate Superhero Robert E. Lee
For the second year in a row, Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax left the dais in silent protest while Virginia state senators honored Confederate superhero Gen. Robert E. Lee. What makes Lee a superhero? He ardently “defended a system of human bondage in which more than three million souls were denied the most basic liberties”. He…
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Trump Unveils His Genius Plan to Offer DACA & TPS Protections in Exchange for His Non-Sensical Border Wall
As children, we learned the art of negotiation early in life. “You want me to quit crying? Change this diaper, fix me a bottle, and help me get these burps out, nigga.” Or: “I won’t tell Daddy about that white man I saw crawling out the window if you buy me a Sega Genesis.” But…
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Nancy Pelosi's Trip Cancelled After Leak Exposes Exact Travel Schedule Causing Security Risks
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s was all set to make a trip to Afghanistan until President Petty decided to out her travel plans and, in turn, forced her to shut the trip down because he went public making Pelosi’s trip too dangerous. On Thursday—surely a retaliation effort for Pelosi suggesting that President Richard Pettibone should memorize…
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I Don’t Care What Y’all Say, If Buzzfeed Brings Down President Trump, I’m Inviting Them To The Cookout [Updated]
If BuzzFeed’s report that the president told his former lawyer and fixer to lie to Congress about the Moscow Tower turns out to be true and brings down the president, this will be the biggest moment in American history. Therefore, I’m formally requesting that we take a vote to extend one conditional cookout invitation to…
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On This Episode of The Real White Housewives, President Petty Cancels Nancy Pelosi's Foreign Travel
When Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) sent the president a note telling him to stick his State of the Union speech in a bottle and throw that shit in the Potomac, she had to expect that something was coming. The president has shown that he doesn’t play kindly when people put him in…
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Watch: Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the 'Mother of Dragging,' Flames Trump in Her First Floor Speech
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of the House of Congress, The Unscathed, Queen of the Bronx, Torcher of Twitter, Breaker of Boat Shoes, and Mother of Dragging, just made her inaugural speech on the House floor and torched President Trump over his ongoing government shutdown to get money for the wall that Mexico was supposed to pay…
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Michael Cohen Paid to Rig Polls for Trump and the President Still Didn't Make The Top 100
While many media outlets continue to refer to President Donald Trump’s former attorney Michael Cohen as a fixer, it is becoming increasingly apparent that Cohen couldn’t fix shit. Everything Cohen allegedly “fixed”—including Stormy Daniels payment, the Russian real estate deals and his entire presidential partnership with silent partner Vladimir Putin—remains decidedly broken. And, like his…