Politics
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The Gangsta Rapper President
Now this is a story all about howWhite America got tricked, turned upside downI’d like to take a minute, so sit right thereI’ll tell you why Trump’s a gangsta rapper who stole Ice T’s hair. Ever since Donald Trump became America’s 45th president, I have had a sense of nigga vu about him. Wait. You’ve…
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Mitch McConnell's Slow and Steady Pace Avoids Run-in with Furloughed Government Employees
Frustrated with Senate Majority Leader and Turtle Club President Emeritus Mitch McConnell, furloughed federal employees gave the Kentucky senator a piece of their mind. McConnell, sensing the commotion from just beyond his heating lamp, wasn’t around to see it. After waiting in vain for McConnell to use his considerable power and influence to end the…
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Donald Trump Said He Was Going to Give His Little Speech Anyway. Shorter Nancy Pelosi: I Said What I Said
A woman put your “president” in his place today, and he is mad about it. Exactly one week ago, Speaker Nancy Pelosi simply asked the “president” to postpone the State of the Union address until the government reopened. But because Trump has the temperament of a three-year-old who has missed his nap, he threw a…
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Donald Trump Is the ‘Grand Wizard of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue,’ According to Rep. Hakeem Jeffries
We all have opinions about and creative names for Donald Trump. He leaves himself open to plenty of criticism, so it’s easy to come up with disparaging things to say about him. You simply need to pick a topic like his racism, his lack of intelligence, his troubling policies, the fact that he is a…
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Don't Worry, Y'all. I Solved America's Problems. It's Pizza
Politics, man. If you’re like me and you spend most of your day with your eyes open and in something slightly past a semi-conscious state, you recognize that America is currently facing an era of political discord and polarization unseen since the 1960s, or maybe the Gilded Age, or maybe even the Civil War. We’ve…
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Trump's Wall Tantrum Has the FBI Strapped for Cash
Seemingly lost in the circus surrounding the partial government shutdown, now into the early days of its second month, has been its impact on national security. Trump, while holding out for his $5.7 billion border blinders, has halted the day-to-day operations of the agencies and individuals that protect American lives and interests beyond the proposed…
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Is President Willy Wonka Trying to Reopen the Government Chocolate Factory?
Dueling proposals (read, dicks) are going to be voted on this Thursday as the white men controlling the rest of the planet have reached some sort of agreement that might allow government black folks back to work. From the Hill Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) set up two votes for Thursday afternoon, both of…
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Trump Told Sarah ‘Suckabee’ Sanders to Stop Holding Briefings Because the Press Pushes Back on Her Lies
If you’ve been wondering why it’s been a while since Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka “Suckabee” aka “The Devil’s Mouthpiece,” hasn’t held a press briefing in a while, well it’s because President Trump doesn’t like the way that she’s treated. You read that right. How she is treated. To be fair, she’s treated like a press…
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Justin Fairfax, The King of Confederate Shade, Shuts Down 100-Year Tribute to American Traitors
Most politicians don’t really understand power. Oh, they may talk about power, they may use power, they may even think they are powerful. But from the local county auditor to even the president of the United States, the meaning of true power eludes them. Justin Fairfax, Lt. Governor of the blue state of Virginia, is…
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Supreme Court Allows Trump's Transgender Military Ban to Go Into Effect
On Tuesday, the U.S. Supreme Court decided to enforce President Trump’s policy on barring certain transgender people from joining or staying in the military as justices put lower court rulings, which blocked the plan, on hold. Thanks to the conservative-leaning majority (looking at you, Brett “I like beer. I still like beer” Kavanuagh) what started…