Politics
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Nancy Pelosi Throws Stimulus Package-Sized Shade at President, Calls Trump ‘Morbidly Obese’
Imagine a world in which the president claims to take medicine and no one believes him. Imagine a world in which the medicine the president claims to be taking could potentially be deadly yet he won’t stop lying about taking it. Imagine a world in which that same president eats tons of McDonald’s and doesn’t…
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Trump Just Claimed He’s Taking Hydroxychloroquine. He's Probably Lying and 2 More Ways to View This Revelation
The president of the United States ran out here and purchased a Cadillac Escalade full of hydroxychloroquine, the drug that, at one point, showed a glimmer of hope against the coronavirus, but new research showed that it may be more fatal for some, especially those with heart conditions, and for those it didn’t kill, it…
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The Most Grossly Incompetent President Just Fixed His Anus-Shaped Mouth to Come for Obama
President Donald Trump is Future. He’s not the future, he’s like Future the rapper. He’s the disgruntled ex who is watching his former lady move on with Russell Wilson, aka President Obama. It’s why he can’t keep the former president’s name out of his mouth. Obama is beloved by America and well, President Trump is…
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Fired Inspector General Was Getting Too Close to Solving Dog Walker, Dry Cleaning-Gate
The Trump administration refuses to respect boundaries. It’s almost as if the president believes that just because Ben Carson, secretary of Housing and Urban Development, comes over and does the Trump’s family laundry that everyone is available to do house chores. Steve Linick, “the quasi-independent watchdog whose job it was to expose waste and malfeasance…
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The Tekashi 6ix9ine We Need: Ousted U.S. Vaccine Official Rick Bright Gives It All Up
Former top U.S. vaccine official, Rick Bright, walked into Congress Thursday and asked for a large bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, a Nehi grape soda, and a pack of Marlboro Lights 100s and proceeded to give up everything he knew about how fucking screwed Americans are if they are waiting for the Trump administration to…
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Republican Sen. Richard Burr’s Cell Phone Seized, Steps Down From Senate Intelligence Committee Amid Investigation Over Stock Trade
Republican Sen. Richard Burr (N.C.) is in a whole heap of trouble after he reportedly traded stocks ahead of the economic fallout from the coronavirus pandemic. According to CNN, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, aka “Turtle Power,” accepted Burr’s resignation from one of the highest committee’s in all the land, which Burr led for three…
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Texas Began Opening Businesses May 1. Now, They’re Averaging 1,000 New Cases of COVID-19 a Day
If you want to know how soft-opening the country during a global pandemic is going to go, look no further than the great state of Texas. On May 1, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott (R) allowed some businesses to reopen, and since then, Texas has only had two days where they didn’t reach 1,000 new coronavirus…
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MAGA-nificent Idiot: Congressman Came for Rep. Ilhan Omar and May Have Fumbled Trump’s Bag
A rookie House Republican who loves him some Donald Trump might have just made it harder for the president’s reelection campaign to continue spending bread at Trump’s properties. According to the Daily Beast, Rep. Greg Steube (R-Fla.) was trying to come for Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.) when he introduced legislation that would prevent campaign spending,…